Legal Advisor

My tax income form was sent back by SARS because of the question “Amount of dependants?”

I answered: “65% of the population don’t pay tax, 2,1 million are illegal immigrants, 900 000 are criminals in jail and last but not least there are 789 idiots in parliament.

This really bothered me. Who did I leave out?

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner: "Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?" "No." "So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?" "Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing law for a living."

I advise you not to pay an admission of guilt fine when suspected of having committed a crime to avoid prosecution! Consult a lawyer first coz it will haunt u.

Hamba Mzansi

In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves. They took it out to different countries for a test.

U.S.A: in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;

UK: in 30 minutes it caught 30 thieves;

Spain: in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves;

Uganda: in 10 minutes it caught 80 thieves;

Nigeria: in 7 minutes it caught 200 thieves,

South Africa: in 5 minutes the machine was stolen, while the engineers operating the machine were kidnapped!