Shadow Life Coaching

FINDING OPPORTUNITY IN UNCERTAINTY

Ask ten people what keeps them awake at night nowadays. My bet is that the word uncertainty will feature in at least half of the responses.

Most would agree that our world has become a lot more uncertain recently. But what do we really mean by that … and is it really something we should worry about.

UNCERTAINTY AND CONFUSION IN THE EXTERNAL WORLD
Our world feels more uncertain because major events seem more frightening and more unpredictable.

Scale and technology are two factors that act to reinforce this perception.

As the global population grows and becomes more connected, we become more readily and quickly aware of – and susceptible to – events that happen around the world.

Technological advances bring many benefits to humanity but they also bring more sophisticated and destructive weaponry, biological threats and toxic emissions.

The media compete to be the first to report on breaking news. Likewise, they compete to provide the most detailed coverage.

Graphic, high-definition images and videos are beamed straight to our portable devices, often in real-time. And we all know that bad news is the preferred stock in trade of the mainstream news services.

Social media renders each and every one of us a potential reporter, analyst and broadcaster. The truth is more easily and quickly shared … but so is fake and misrepresented news.

The result of all of this is a perceived increase in bad news along with greater confusion about what to believe and what not to. Confusion sows a perception of rising unpredictability and, by association, uncertainty.

What can we do about this?

Well, we all know that technological advances will happen with ever-increasing speed. Barring a major calamity, it’s also unlikely that population growth is going to slow markedly anytime soon.

A NEW APPROACH
So we simply have to accept the external environment for what it is and the fact that we have very limited control over it.

FOCUSING INWARDS
We need to start focusing our attention inwards, where we have full control. We need to embrace an approach to life that brings the certainty of our inner power and creativity to bear in adapting to an increasingly changeable external world.

Integral to this new approach is making the commitment to start a new internal dialogue in which we approach an uncertain world through the lens of opportunity rather than the lens of our worst fears.

Everything I’ve said until now has assumed that uncertainty is, by definition, a negative concept. That’s because we have become conditioned to accept this norm.

Imagine a world in which everything was totally certain and predictable and then imagine the downsides of that. I think you will agree that uncertainty also brings many advantages.

FEAR-BASED QUESTIONS
The internal discussion that we engage in with ourselves is characterised by a series of self-questions or “what-ifs”.

Those whose lives are externally focused, or who lives believing that they are at the mercy of the unpredictable and uncertain external world, will lie awake at night thinking questions like:

“What if another deadly virus strikes?”
“What if we get swept up in a terrible war?”
“What if the economy tanks?”
“What if I lose my job?”
“What if I can’t pay the bills next month?”
“What if my partner leaves me?”

The power of the subconscious is such that it keeps looking for answers long after we have stopped consciously asking the questions. The result is that we become steadily more and more anxious and unhappy.

REDEFINING UNCERTAINTY
The trick is to focus inwardly on what we can control; our attitudes and thought processes and, at the same time, re-define how we think about uncertainty.

When we agree to let go of that over which we have little control, we relieve ourselves of an unnecessary burden. The vacuum left by the burden is then filled with our natural creative juices. We then start to appreciate the flip side of the ‘uncertainty coin’.

OPPORTUNITY BASED SELF QUESTIONS
We can then act to recast our fear-based self questions or what-ifs into opportunity-based questions, such as:

“What if I can find a way to meet people’s changing needs?”
“What if I make my own business out of doing what I love?”
“What if I invent a new way to do this?”
“What if I change my routine to something more exciting?”
“What if I sell my house and go travelling?”
“What if I take time out to discover my true purpose?”

Self questions focused on opportunity prime the subconscious to find ways to turn the what-ifs into reality. This amazing ‘perpetual machine’ goes to work this time, to make life more exciting, fulfilling and enjoyable.

SWEET DREAMS
Oh, and the quality of our sleep improves immeasurably … and everyone knows the amazing impact that can have on one’s quality of life.
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Consider employing the service of a life coach to take you from uncertainty to opportunity. Contact Matthew Campaigne Scott 073 447 9031

ARE YOU CHASING NET WORTH OR DELIVERING NET VALUE.

In today’s world, much is made of the concept of net worth. For many, caught up in the hype of materialism that dominates our society, net worth is the only true measure of one’s success.

However, the problem with net worth is that it is, by definition, a self-centric measure. It bears little, if any, relation to the value that one delivers to society or the world at large.

HUGE ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT
Few would argue with the view that there is huge room for improvement in our world.

The question is, how do we bring this about when so much about the way we live our lives demands a self-centric, narrow focus on building wealth – or at least enough money to pay one’s debts and obligations.

WHAT IS THE MEASURE OF WHAT GETS DONE?

As some say in project management circles: "What gets measured gets done."

This is so true, of course. But this statement alone hides the importance of the decision about what the optimum measure is that should be applied.

If we, as a society, deem that the primary measure of individual success should be the difference between one’s financial assets and liabilities, then net worth is “what gets done”. Or, at least, it becomes a prime driver of the actions and behaviours of most people.

A CHANGE THAT WOULD TRANSFORM OUR WORLD

There is a change that we could make that I believe would transform the nature of our world for the better, overnight.

That is, quite simply, to replace the concept of net worth, with what we could call ‘net value’ as our collectively agreed measure of individual success.

TAKING OUT OR GIVING BACK?

Net worth is a measure of how much one is worth after deducting what one owes from what one owns. Net value, on the other hand, is a measure of the contribution one adds to the greater good after deducting the shared resources used in that pursuit.

In simple terms, net worth is about what you or I have, whereas net value is about what you or I contribute, or give back.

A focus on net worth encourages taking as much as possible from external resources to benefit oneself. At the other end of the spectrum, a focus on net value incentivises the frugal use of external resources for maximum benefit to society or the world as a whole.

MANAGING UP AND MANAGING DOWN
To some frustration on my part, I have noticed a pattern whereby those team leaders who focused most of their efforts on ‘managing up’ would get rewarded and promoted faster and more easily than those who focused mostly on ‘managing down’.

If I lost you there for a moment, managing up and managing down are terms life coach of life coaches Bill Burridge coined to describe the primary focus of people cast in team leadership roles in a typical organisational hierarchy.

As you will appreciate, any team leader has a one-on-one relationship with the boss above but a one-on-many relationship with those in the team below.

Keeping both relationships positive is important for the effective functioning of a leadership role. However, to my mind, it is the one-on-many relationship that has by far the greatest potential to add value to the organisation.

Notwithstanding this, those team leaders driven by aspirations involving net worth as opposed to net value would pay detailed attention to cultivating the one-on-one relationship, often to the detriment of the people and team reporting in.

THE ZERO-SUM GAME
Here is an anecdote of Bill's that you'll get a lot out of.

"I would like to share another personal realisation about net value. It resulted from losing a substantial sum of money.

For a couple of years, I had a part-time share trading account which netted me some small but steady gains. Unfortunately, I got frustrated with the pace of things and signed up for some hi-tech auto trading facility that promised big, quick wins.

I’m sure you know where this is going.

To cut a long story short, I very quickly lost all the money I had built up in that account. Though not an outright personal catastrophe, it was a painful lesson and it made me do some deep introspection.

I soon came to terms with the fact that I needed to learn that lesson. I had always valued fair exchange. Simply put, as you give, so shall you receive.

It dawned on me that in my quest for a quick buck, I had contravened my own value. As I thought more about the whole concept of share trading, I came to realise that such activity offers the world zero value.

Each time someone gains on a trade, someone else realises an equivalent loss. It’s a zero-sum game. Share trading is the epitome of a pursuit driven by a focus on net worth as opposed to net value."

HOW ABOUT YOU?
After sharing these anecdotes, I’d like to invite you to consider your own career or work, and whether it is net worth or net value-focused?

In general terms, those whose careers are primarily driven by the desire to make money, are likely to be net worth driven.

High net worth may, or may not be the outcome, but the process of getting there can often be exhausting and unfulfilling and result in a strangely hollow feeling.

On the other hand, those that discover and follow their life’s purpose are contributing to the evolution of our planet and are therefore net value-driven.

Being net value-driven in no way precludes one from earning and enjoying good money. The best is that the process leaves one feeling meaningful, vibrant and fulfilled.

Did I hear someone mention ‘life coaching’?
Contact Matthew Campaigne Scott to discuss your life coaching queries at +27 73 447 9031