The Last Best Ride

🚨 IMPORTANT TLBR 2026 ANNOUNCEMENTS 🚨

1. 💧 Hydration Policy Change 💧 
Water is officially banned on race day. Approved hydration sources now include:
- Hotdog water
- Tears (self-supplied)
- Whatever’s in that mystery cooler at Aid Station 3

2. 🚲 Official Rule Update 🚲
Due to overwhelming feedback, all riders are now required to use E-bikes. Anyone caught pedaling too hard will receive a time penalty for “excessive enthusiasm.”

3. 📍 Course Change Notice 📍
We heard the course was “too scenic” and “not selective enough.” After careful consideration, the course has been simplified:
➡️ 100 laps of the hike-a-bike Bighorn Scramble. That’s it.

4. 🍌 Aid Station Revamp 🍌 
We’re upgrading nutrition this year:
- Gels replaced with ketchup packets
- Hand-foraged trail mix (mostly raisins, possibly not)
- Warm LaCroix that lost its will to sparkle
- PB&Js now DIY (ingredients scattered across a table)
- A handful of gravel (for texture)

5. 🏆 Podium Changes 🏆
We’re moving away from traditional categories. New podiums include:
🥇 Best mid-race existential crisis
🥈 Strongest “I’m totally fine” face
🥉 Most dramatic flat tire

Everyone needs help! Whether it’s help applying sunscreen or purchasing a TLBR ticket. The best gifts don’t come in boxes… they come with gravel. Surprise your favorite rider (or yourself) before Santa runs out of spots (prices increase after 12/31)! 🎅🏻