Rooted And Fixed

As we come to the end of another year, my heart is full as a result of reflecting on all the Lord did this year.

One thing I have truly come to realize this year is that there is always going to be something hard, challenging, negative, less than ideal, etc. that we can choose to focus on; life is not short of hardships and difficulties. However, when we become so engulfed in such things and forget to acknowledge and praise the Lord for the several good things and blessings, we become so heavily engrossed in our circumstances and our hearts fill up with despair.

Now, please do not get me wrong, it is perfectly okay to acknowledge the challenges and difficulties in our lives. Oftentimes, as we are learning to surrender them to the Lord, we walk through a period of grieving, anger, frustration, questioning, etc. This is the place we cannot stay, though. Feelings are real and valid, yet they do not dictate the truth and/or our true reality, especially for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Lament is a word and a discipline I learned a lot about this year.

Mark Vroegop wrote in his book Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy “Lament is the honest cry of a hurting heart wrestling with the paradox of pain and the promise of God’s goodness. Lament is how we bring our sorrow to God. Without lament we won’t know how to process pain. Silence, bitterness, and even anger can dominate our spiritual lives instead.”

You see, lamenting is how we, as Christians, are called to grieve and navigate life’s hardships and circumstances…
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Walking through singleness can be incredibly lonely, frustrating, discouraging, and confusing. For multiple reasons. And it’s okay to acknowledge these things and the reasons why you feel the weightiness and hardship of it.

Singleness is not a reflection of your worth, value, identity, or purpose. Singleness does not mean God loves you any less or is withholding a good, precious gift from you. Singleness does not mean that God does not see your desire or doesn't want to give you the gift of marriage one day. Singleness does not mean that you must work yourself to death, have no boundaries, feel less important or worthy of developing healthy disciplines and rhythms in your life, etc. Singleness does not mean that you are all alone and have to resort to the constant feelings of inadequacy and loneliness.

Feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, insecurity, discouragement, less than, etc., do not disappear when you gain a healthy, good, and meaningful long-term and marriage relationship.

Your hope, purpose, satisfaction, and worth cannot and will never be able to come from another person other than Christ. In the season of waiting, you must fight to commit yourself to the Word and prayer, to find your identity and purpose in Christ, to seek what God wants to do in and through you during this time, and to rest in the comfort of His gracious and merciful arms.

God does not expect you to not struggle with this unfulfilled desire or to carry the weight of this hardship by yourself. He does not expect you to walk through this season alone or perfectly, nor does he want you to try to hide or cover up the struggles and heartache. Take your heart, your thoughts, your feelings, your concerns, your hopes, dreams, and desires all to Him, surrendering them and seeking His help to walk through them.

Yes, it’s heavy. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s discouraging, confusing, full of heartache and so many other emotions. BUT the Lord is faithful, and He is with you. He loves you, He cares for you, and He will give you all that you need to walk in His ways every step of the way; His grace truly is sufficient.