Jannetta Marie LCSW

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Growing up in the church as a pastor’s kid, I saw something over and over again.
Very young people, children, and teenagers would come to church consistently. Many of them came from broken homes. What the church often didn’t understand at the time was mental health and childhood trauma.
When these kids showed up frequently, connected deeply, and sought attention, it was often interpreted as spiritual hunger or a strong zeal for God. But in many cases, what they were actually responding to was love, safety, and attention, things they weren’t getting at home.
The church, with good intentions, would then assign titles to them, give them responsibilities, and begin positioning them for leadership, sometimes even future pastoral roles, without recognizing the underlying emotional wounds.
What was often missed were the people-pleasing behaviors, the over-serving, and the inability to say no. Eventually, that child grows up exhausted, emotionally empty, and burned out. And when they finally crash, they don’t just walk away from leadership; they often walk away from the church and sometimes from God altogether.
Not because God failed them.
But because the root issues from childhood were never addressed.
So the anger shows up later. The resentment shows up later. And people get blamed for pain that actually started long before.
Faith and mental health are not enemies.
The church is not meant to replace healing; it should support it.
Please hear this with love:
Go see a mental health therapist.
Healing what started in childhood matters.