Bala Sama

So often we hear people talk about being on their healing journey or how much they've healed from their past emotional pain and heartbreak but what does that really translate to in practical terms?

There are many aspects of healing, such as acceptance, forgiveness, self growth, letting go of anger and resentment but those are not enough for a person to rebuild their life and reclaim their freedom, their safety and ability to be vulnerable and connect.

What does their healing really accomplish if a person is still afraid of being hurt again and becomes avoidant, shut down or puts limitations on the way they are able to show up in a relationship? Wouldn't it be better if a person learned how to actually become stronger and more powerful than whatever hurt them so that they stop reacting with fear and repeating old patterns when they feel emotionally vulnerable?

Our nervous system is wired to make us avoid pain and while it's a good survival strategy, it's not a good strategy for building healthy relationships and creating balance in your life.

Pain is just a part of life, but fear of pain is a choice, and here is another choice:

Instead of avoiding pain and discomfort, lean into it and push through it so that you can prove to yourself how strong and brave you are and as you face it, try to do it with a calm mind and relaxed body because when you do, you are reinforcing the belief that you are bigger and stronger than whatever you're facing. By doing so, you are controlling and redirecting your nervous system to stay calm and not react with fear.

Over time, this creates new neural pathways and retrains your nervous system to respond with ACTION instead of avoidance. Taking action builds confidence and trust in yourself and prepares you to face similar situations with greater strength and courage. Instead of shutting down or running away from stressful situations, you step forward, lean into them and face them with determination and boldness. THAT is the power of true healing!
-Joel Clemons • Personal Coach .gentleman.wolf