Beginnings with Bree

Love this from Iris 💕
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So much of what we consider difficult, challenging, or bad behavior in our kids has to do with US—our lack of understanding, our judgment, and our desire to control.

When we reframe “misbehavior” and see the unmet needs underneath, the anger dissipates and we can attend to the root of the issue with compassion rather than reacting to the behavior with frustration and punishment.

Whenever you face a child’s challenging behavior, ask yourself:

• Are my expectations developmentally appropriate?
• Are they rebelling against my oppression and control? Do they need more autonomy and power?
• Do they lack the skills and need more patience and training?
• Are they simply hungry, tired, antsy, or have another physical need?
• Do they have unmet emotional needs like disconnection or discouragement that are causing them to behave in connection-seeking ways?
• Do they have sensory issues that overwhelm them with too much stimuli? Or do they not have enough stimuli and need opportunities to receive more sensory input and release more of their energy?
• Are they experiencing stress, anxiety, or fear? Is their anything in their environment or relationships that is new, unfamiliar, violent, tense with conflict, uncertain, etc.? Are they feeding off of our own stress?

Print this out or save on your phone! Pull it out whenever you’re faced with your child’s challenging behavior and get curious about what’s underneath it so you can meet it with empathy, kindness, patience, and understanding.
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For more peaceful parenting thoughts, purchase my book “Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent” at your favorite book retailer, or buy a signed copy of here ➡️ https: //untigering . com/untigering-peaceful-parenting-for-the-deconstructing-tiger-parent/

This! 🙌🏼🙌🏼