Elementray

Let’s get some cleaning facts straight. Cleaning isn’t common sense. People struggle every day with OCD, it’s very different to being a “meticulous cleaner” and you trivialise their experience when you use the term that way. A dirty house is a symptom of health and mental health struggles. Not laziness. And a spotless house is a sign of a well supported household. That doesn’t make you a superior human being.

This is why the main thing hurting us tends to be our own thoughts.

Great wisdom from Jefferson Fisher — Arguments aren’t about winning, they’re about understanding.

Celebrating my 6th year on Facebook. Thank you for your continuing support. I could never have made it without you. 🙏🤗🎉

If we are doing our partner's emotional work for them, our inner child is still trying to fix a broken parent, because when we take on the responsibility of managing our partner's emotions, we're often repeating a pattern that started in our childhood, where we felt responsible for our parent's happiness, or for fixing their emotional pain, and this can be a deeply ingrained pattern, one that can be difficult to recognize, and even harder to break, because it's rooted in our deepest desires to be loved, and to be valued, and to be seen as worthy of love and care.

When we're doing our partner's emotional work for them, we're often trying to recreate the past, and to fix the broken relationships of our childhood, and this can be a never-ending cycle, because no matter how hard we try, we can't fix our partner's emotional pain, or make them happy, because that's their responsibility, not ours, and when we try to take on that responsibility, we're not only draining our own emotional energy, but we're also preventing our partner from doing their own emotional work, and from taking responsibility for their own happiness.

It's a complex and deeply ingrained pattern, one that requires a lot of self-reflection, and self-awareness, to recognize, and to break, but it's possible, and it's necessary, if we want to build healthy, and fulfilling relationships, where both partners are responsible for their own emotional well-being, and where both partners feel seen, heard, and valued, and where both partners are able to communicate their needs, and their feelings, in a clear, and respectful way.