Roland Cochrun

I have 6 businesses currently… but not because I want 6.

There always seems to be a point at which a business becomes unenjoyable. Either the staffing becomes a challenge, the risk becomes too large, or my involvement turns into something I never wanted to do.

None of my businesses are operating at their full financial potential. This is intentional. I grow the business until it becomes unenjoyable. From there, I back off until it becomes enjoyable again.

Rather than growing them into something that annoys me just to satisfy my financial desires… I just opened other businesses instead.

I have 6 of them because I’d rather own 6 that I enjoy than one I hate.

I can live in the US now, but I’ve done enough internal work to get to that point.

In my 20s, living in the United States was pure hell.

My pathological desire to be superior, respected, and admired was the core of the issue.

As a boy who often questioned his value, I cared very much about becoming someone people considered impressive. I paid close attention to successful men who people admired. They always seemed to be in superior positions and had more money than other men.

So, when I started chasing career success, I used these men as my measure of how successful I was.

The competitive male culture in the US wrecked me.

I was convinced that life was meaningless if you were not one of “the best.” I felt constant pressure to get better every day: better looking, smarter, to buy more, have more, be more. The pressure to succeed started the moment I woke up in the morning. Obsessing, daydreaming, planning, strategizing, learning, and thoughts of improving filled my mind.

I was a machine seeking attention, validation, control, wealth, and superiority. There was nothing human about me. And because this world is made for humans, I could never seem to make it work for me. There always seemed to be something missing . . . my humanity.

Now that I’m human again, I can live in the US. I know the difference now… between playing the game and allowing it to play you.