Anthony Rella

Smug superiority is the consolation prize of martyrdom.

When we continually put our needs at the bottom of the list and make sacrifices, over and over again, for moral causes—all the while watching others prioritize their happiness, well-being, or personal goals with hardly a consequence—resentment comes to visit wearing the avatar of smugness.

Smugness feels righteous. It's a form of judgment that feels wholly justified, because "I've done everything right" and thus can freely measure others against the measure of my moral weight. With smugness, we can belittle the values and choices of others as though they are ignorant, selfish fools who dare to enjoy life in spite of the great need that always surrounds us.

Yet that smugness is only consolation for the misery we feel in being unable to escape responsibility. Something in us yearns for the freedom to not be so damn good all the time, to not shine a bright light into every corner of our souls, to let the world at large suffer while we find joy in our little corner of it. This constant denial of our wants and needs is what poisons our souls with resentment.

In truth, our little corner of the world is all we can tend, where we have the most power to create joy and meaning. And in truth, living purely for surface-level pleasure and satisfaction is a small life.

When we're feeling superior to another, we have an opportunity to wonder - does this person have a freedom that I envy?