The Gottman Institute
06/15/2026
Many couples spend most of their conversations talking about responsibilities, schedules, and everything that keeps life moving.
The Express Yourself Check-In is a simple way to create space for a different kind of conversation.
Questions like:
What's been bringing you energy lately?
What's something you miss doing just for yourself?
What's something you've been feeling but haven't really said out loud?
According to Gottman research, emotional intimacy grows when partners continue sharing their inner world with each other. Not just what's happening around them, but what's happening within them.
This month's Love Notes includes the complete Express Yourself Check-In, along with a guided 10-minute exercise designed to help couples reconnect through curiosity, understanding, and conversation.
Sign up here: https://bit.ly/4g0CwVT
06/08/2026
Everybody wants a village, but villages are built through small acts of care over time.
Checking in. Listening closely. Remembering details. Showing up when life gets busy. Reaching back out after distance.
Dr. John Gottman’s concept of “turning toward” applies to friendship too. Healthy relationships grow when people consistently respond to each other’s bids for connection, even in ordinary moments.
For National Best Friends Day, we’re reflecting on the small ways strong friendships are nurtured over time 💙
Read the full article here: https://bit.ly/3PL2LrN
These tools are intended for relationships where both partners are willing to participate in growth, accountability, and repair.
One partner feels exhausted from always bringing things up.
The other feels exhausted from feeling like nothing they do is enough.
The more each person reacts from that place, the more stuck the cycle becomes.
According to Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman’s research, the way a conversation begins matters. A softened startup isn’t about avoiding hard truths or minimizing concerns. It’s about creating the conditions where both people are more likely to stay engaged and hear each other.
Understanding the pattern doesn’t excuse either person’s behavior or remove accountability. But when couples can recognize the cycle they’re caught in, it becomes easier to work together against the pattern instead of against each other.
Not:
“You never listen.”
But:
“I want us to work on this together.”
The goal isn’t to win the conversation. It’s to understand each other well enough to move forward. 💙
Credit to via Instagram for the original video and thoughtful perspective.
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