LONER

I’ve tried to be apart of people’s lives I’ve shown up for birthdays flew out for weddings invited people over but I have zero relationships and If it’s really all on me then I guess I need help learning how to act cause I feel like I don’t feel connected to anyone I can’t say I have 1 person in my life that I feel a real connection to and maybe it’s me and I need help but either way I’m alone and it drives me crazy a little more everyday. I felt hopeless the other day and I sat in my car thinking damn there’s no1 I can call there’s no couch I could crash there’s no1 to lift me up.. Have I really been that bad of a friend I feel like I always tried to support people in my life now I just feel like I’m on an island and it sucks during the holidays.. I’m gonna keep trucking along but idk how long I can keep feeling like this. I’m trying to get this off my chest be easy on me.