With Connection

🌟 Embracing Truths 🌟

As foster and adoptive parents & as educators, we’ve come to understand the profound importance of believing in this truth: all children need, want, and are capable of love and connection. It’s the cornerstone of our journey.
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Every behavior, every reaction—they’re all rooted in a profound quest for safety and belonging. Even the most challenging trauma symptoms are adaptive behaviors, honed through resilience and survival instincts.
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So let’s honor each child as the unique individual they are, recognizing their inherent worth and strength. Together, let’s create a world where every child feels seen, heard, and loved. 💖

We all know that vacant stare that often follows our attempts to learn about our children's lives... 👀😂
Sometimes framing questions differently can get kids talking and guide us to help them share the things they really need to share🥰

We all know *that* moment. The one where our child loses control of their emotions and breaks down... wherever they are and near whoever happens to be watching. A lot of us were raised by parents who squeezed our hands, whispered "stop it right now" and shut us down when we flipped our own lids as children... so the impulse to get our kids to just stooooop it with the meltdown is alive and well in many of us. Thankfully we now know that in order to learn the skill of self regulation when stressed that we desperately want our kids to learn, we need to meet their stress with our own calm, so that their nervous system can actually calm down to match ours. So when kids get wacky and start to melt, instead of *telling* them to calm down, follow these simple steps to *show* them how to come back into a regulated and calm space.
🍃take some deep breaths, ground your body, and remind yourself of your own safety.
🍃speak to your child calmly and with empathy
🍃provide connection in whatever way you know helps your child.
Trust your child and trust yourself. You are what your child needs most to learn to self regulate ❤️

🍁Back to school is a great time to remember while ruptures happen in *all* relationships, repair is essential for secure attachment.
🍁As our kids get back into the routine of the school year and can come home extra exhausted (and extra challenging to parent) we need to be gentle on them... and gentle on ourselves!
🍁Remember- perfect parents do not exist. We all make mistakes, we all lose our cool, we all have regrettable moments.
🍁Taking the time and space to repair with our kids can strengthen attachment and restore a sense of security after those less than perfect parenting moments.

They deserve it, just like you did.
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