Abby With The Rods

Twenty-one years ago, I went under anesthesia and wondered if I would ever wake up.

I remember sitting in a wheelchair, in a scratchy gown and hospital socks, watching the doctors stick me with a needle and ask me to count backwards from 100. I remember getting to 97 before everything went black.

6 hours later, the surgery was over.

24 hours later, I woke up, briefly. They told me the surgery was a success, and I fell promptly back asleep for another 24 hours.

For the next two weeks, I recovered in the hospital room at Beth Israel North. Twice a day, I was instructed to walk around for a few minutes, to keep my body from seizing up, and to speed the healing process. I obliged, even though walking was the last thing I wanted to do. Everything hurt, and everything smelled like rubbing alcohol and dried blood.

My mom, sister, brother-in-law and grandma took turns staying with me, entertaining me in their own ways. They sat with me, read to me, told me stories, rubbed my feet… I don’t remember much of what we said, but I remember feeling so deeply loved, and so deeply grateful to be alive...

21 Years Later Twenty-one years ago today, I went under anesthesia and wondered if I would ever wake up. I remember sitting in a wheelchair, in a scratchy gown and hospital socks, watching the doctors stick me with a needle and ask me to count backwards from 100. I remember getting to 97 before everything went bla...

A few weeks ago, I led a student in a meditation I had never led before.

Like most of my good ideas, it came to me in the moment, when I was relaxed and present. Nothing was rushed or planned; I was just there, sitting with my student, trying to feel into what she needed, and what I could provide. We had been talking about the power of the senses, and about how sometimes, just pausing to really feel our feet on the ground can change our whole perspective. I introduced to her the yogic concept of pratyahara, one of my favorite of the eight limbs...

Pratyahara: A Meditation of the Senses A few weeks ago, I led a student in a meditation I had never led before. Like most of my good ideas, it came to me in the moment, when I was relaxed and present. Nothing was rushed or planned; I was just there, sitting with my student, trying to feel into what she needed, and what I could provide. W...