Hi-5 ABA

Mighty Oak ABA wishes you fruitful, new beginnings and warm sunshine, however you celebrate the start of Spring!

Kids are usually so engrossed in anything that they're interested in and conversely sometimes they may selectively not hear things they are asked to do when it’s something they might be looking to avoid.

Both scenarios result often in parents repeating themselves for what probably feels like a hundred times. As parents we have all used the phrase “what did I just say” to try to gain our kids’ attention or to seek confirmation or clarification that they’ve heard what we asked or said. Has this worked sometimes? Did it get them repeating what you said back to you or the response you were looking for? Did it result in more repetition and escalation, and then frustration and overwhelming feelings?

One of our general recommendation strategies is to instead ask “what did you hear me say?” which places the responsibility on our kids to hear and listen and process what was said or asked. It also ideally changes the dynamic and potential for reactivity of the interaction and comes from a gentler place of compassion, understanding, and bridging the gap in communication.

Maybe you said 5 things to your child and they only heard the first thing or last thing. Maybe you asked them to do something from another room but they only hear you when you’re asking them in closer proximity. There are so many factors why our kids might resist instructions or not respond to something you’re saying, so changing the energy of the interaction that allows you to get feedback from your child on how you were providing instructions or saying something is so valuable!

Mighty Oak ABA wishes the Jewish community a Happy Hanukkah to the whole mishpacha, full of yummy latkes, sufganiyot, and presents! May your candles shine brightly on the menorah!