SweetLight Studios

It’s a picture perfect absolutely *glorious* day in Oregon today and I’m driving back home to the farm over winding country roads. My car is full of beautiful cedar lumber that I picked up for a song from a nice man in the first town over the pass (thanks to FB marketplace). Cornelius pass separates Scappoose from the valley filled with Portland suburbs and is so fun to drive, especially in my zippy little 22 year old car with a stick. The dogs are riding shotgun, windows down, air in their faces, happy to be with me instead of stuck in the bus alone.

I’m stopped at the charming fancy farm market to pick up some special items for a dear friend who can’t get over here as much as he’d like due to health reasons. I may get myself a treat too. I know from past visits that they have *delicious* gluten free blueberry scones and iced coffees with all the flavors and alternative milks.

The lumber smells really good— the cedar is calming and somehow comforting— maybe from all the times I hung out with my dad in his workshop, watching him cut wood on his beloved ray-dee-alarm saw, make picture frames for his photography and our family photos. Later, I learned it was actually a *radial arm* saw, learned how to use it, helped him build decks and bookshelves— two of which we built when I was pregnant with my oldest, 23 years ago, to put in the “nursery” (that he never actually slept in bc co-sleeping, but they held his teeny tiny onesies and rompers, socks, hats, stuffies, and baby blankets. Now they sit next to my bed on the bus and hold the few precious items I want with me in these new “cozy” living quarters— journals, books, jewelry, art supplies… I wish he were here to see it, and to help me with these ginormous office shelves, and the rest of the bus build. That we could catch up, and talk for hours around the outdoor fire pit just like old times. We would roast our marshmallows slowly, spinning them over the hot coals, not too close, and never over the flame, so they would turn out golden brown, toasted and chewy on the outside, and perfectly gooey on the inside, warmed all the way through. I wonder what he would say about how my life turned out— so very different than the life we thought was ahead for both of us before we lost him.

*This* wood is for building a shelf unit at my new office/art studio that will be big enough to hold *alllllll* the supplies I’ve collected over the years in organized bins, with enough room left over to display some of my treasured books that have been sadly packed away since closing my wellness center, giving up my apartment, and moving into the bus. (If I ever have an actual house again, the first requirement will be floor-to-ceiling bookshelves). The back room of the office will hold all the paperwork/office-y admin stuff, equipment, and files for both home and work, but also have tons of space for my new art studio (and potentially classroom space).

I am so pleased to say that it is *finally* really coming together. It was an absolute mess after hurriedly dumping all the boxes from my last studio in there last fall when I was too busy to unpack and sort them. It was so overwhelming, daunting, and embarrassing. I kept the door that separates it from my chiropractic office closed so that my patient’s wouldn’t see what was “behind the green curtain”.

But box by box, I have unloaded, purged, sorted, and re-organized it *all*— paints, canvases, brush, tools, palettes, canvases, paper, jewelry and candle making stuff, epoxy resin, and pretty much any other craft supply you could think of— some of which i inherited from Mom, so I still get to use her things sometimes and wish she were here to use it with me. We would drink coffee and probably listen to cheesy music, and give each other project ideas and she would probably have brought a variety of tasty baked goods, cut them into finger-sized bites so that we could share, taste them all, as we crafted. Just like she did when she came up for a month to help after my first baby was born. She didn’t stay with us bc she didn’t want to invade our space, but she would arrive early every day after stopping at the bakery for hot fancy coffee and every flavor of scone or danish. She would rock the baby for his nap so I could shower, then grocery shop and cook a delicious dinner for us all before leaving for the night.

It was a wonderful trip, we became closer than we’d ever been, probably because I finally understood what it meant to be a Mom and thought “Ohhhhh! *This* why she loves me so much it can feel stifling at times. *That’s* why she’s always been a little overprotective and sensitive to my tone of voice when I’m irritated at her.” Becoming a mother helped me have more compassion for my own, and helped me love her in a whole new way. But that trip got cut short when she had to fly home for a breast biopsy after her mammogram came back abnormal, the results came back with the wrong kind of news, and her cancer journey began.

But back to the studio… I have found everything I was looking for and now know where everything is again for the first time in a very long time. Now I can finally make art in there again, which is so good for my soul, and such a huge part of my healing process. Now I can leave the door open, and soon I can start sharing it with others.

And the rest of the lumber is for finally building the walls, built-ins, and trim for the bus. I have to admit that I got myself in waaaaay over my head with this conversion (though falling on my head, breaking my face, and getting a major concussion right after bringing her home certainly didn’t help). But I am slowly and steadily moving forward— and hopefully that this will finally be the summer that I turn the corner on it.

There have been a lot of hard days in my life. A lot of setbacks and challenges. But today is a very good day. I am still grieving, but I am also healing. I am recovering in all the ways, from all the things. I am strong, resilient, proud, and hopeful. It’s all going to be okay. And so it is.

Thanks for hearing me and witnessing this tumultuous journey. I send you love, wish you healing from all you are recovering from, and hope that you are having a really good (or even glorious) day too.

For the first time ever, my studio will be located inside a storefront! My new chiropractic office will double as a gallery, art & photo studio, jewelry & gift shop, and will have a classroom space for artists and makers of all kinds! Stay tuned for monthly art openings and rotating work from local artists (could you be one of them? HMU!).

Located right on Hwy 30 between Portland and St. Helens, only about 10 min past the Sauvie Island bridge, about 30 hr from downtown, and that much closer to the coast! Come say hello!

i have no idea how this happened...
what it is, or how i captured it. but i think it might be one of the best photos i’ve ever taken... what do you see?

Tonight! ! First we were rained out, and then it was too hot— but tight it is ON! I’m planning to set up somewhere around NE 15th and Alberta, and be there 6-9. Art, jewelry, photography, and a photo booth. Come by to see my “magic pendants”, and/or get some new headshots!

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