Bryan Young

Okay, gather around my Facebook friends, because today we're diving head-first into the sea of emotions that is the Taylor Swift Eras Tour film!

Beyoncé showed up... Queen Bey herself, so you know it's serious! I couldn't get into the same theater as her, but I did manage to find a screening, 6 p.m. on a Sunday, the AMC Dine-in Esplanade 14. Let's dive in, shall we?

So, I walk into the theater, and who do I find? A gaggle of high-schoolers playing hooky from church! What is this, a crossover episode between "Glee" and "7th Heaven"?

Taylor comes on, and she's like, "Oh, hi!" and I'm like, "Oh hello.”

Naturally, she's speaking directly to me. Five minutes in, I'm already regretting not scraping together the courage (and cash) for actual Eras Tour tickets. We could've been lovers by now!

When Taylor mentions "Phoenix," my heart swells. Thank you for acknowledging my existence, Taylor. If only she knew the emotional labor required to be charming and delightful to a microphone in a home studio…but I digress….

Let's talk about SoFi stadium. This venue is so massive, you could fit my entire guided meditation series in there—you know, the one where I teach you to channel your inner "Swiftie"? Taylor definitely needs all that space.

And her wardrobe! That silver sequined blazer had me feeling things. I briefly considered trading in my guided meditation robes for something similar. I mean, if it works for Taylor and Beyoncé, right?

"You Belong With Me" hits differently now. When Taylor shouts out to the adults still vibing to this high school anthem, I'm thinking, "No worries, I still look twenty-something, thanks to my skincare routine."

Suddenly, I find myself relating more to the dads in the audience than the teenagers. Is this what growing up feels like? One minute you're "Shaking It Off," the next your back's complaining about all that movement. Time, you sneaky devil.

When the Folklore cabin set appears, I experience serious cabin envy. That rustic aesthetic would be perfect for my next guided meditation series. Picture it: "Guided Meditation: A Day in the Folklore Woods." Pure magic!

Just when I think I've got my emotions in check, Taylor launches into "Shake It Off." I'm completely undone, sitting there with guy-liner running, not a tissue in sight.

There you have it: my journey through Taylor Swift's Eras Tour film. One moment I'm embodying youth and glamour, the next I'm contemplating life choices and seriously considering a one-legged sequin catsuit for daily wear.

What an experience, all from a cushy theater seat. If you haven't seen this tour de force yet, trust me… it's like a guided meditation for your soul. Just with extra sparkle and glitter.

Pivoting so hard 🔥

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