Christ Quest Ministries

Does this drive you crazy?

She says things like…” You never talk to me.” “You always are yelling at me.” “You never help around the house.”

Yet…you talk to her every day.
You don’t always yell at her.
You just took the trash out yesterday.

Logically it does not make sense. You find yourself arguing over the words “always” and “never.”

But something is happening here that you are missing.

Those words are emotional words. Meaning, she adds them because her heart is emotionally weary, frustrated, overwhelmed…etc. She doesn’t even realize she is doing this, but her HEART (spirit) is crying out to you asking you to see how weary, frustrated, overwhelmed etc. it is.

Next time you hear her add these emotionally charged words…take a deep breath and ask yourself: what is the condition of her heart right now? And ask her a question.

You feel like I never talk to you? Let me take some time and sit with you. I want to hear you. I want to engage with you. I want to be honest with you. I want to talk spirit to spirit with you. You mean so much to me.

I am yelling at you now. I know that isn’t how God wants me to treat you. And yes, I do resort to yelling very quickly. Thank you for showing me what doesn’t look like Jesus in my life. I want to care for your spirit rather than destroy it. I am really hurting you.

Will you forgive me for not being more aware of how overwhelmed you are here in our home. I need to be more careful about seeing the condition of our home and more proactive in participating together with you…without even being asked. I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed.

In each scenario you are looking at where SHE is emotionally. Not the logical accuracy of her statement.

Next time you hear these words from her…try these tips out. Then…come back and share with us how you cared for her spirit and what she said/did in return. You may be completely shocked!!!

Have you heard that Christians should not trust emotions? It seems as though emotions are not seen as credible.

Let’s look at Romans 12:15.
“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”

Here are two examples of Jesus doing just this. 1. Him with the widow of Nain in Luke 7:11-15 and 2. Him with Mary and her brother Lazarus in John 11:33-36.

In both stories, you can feel Jesus’ emotions and how He entered into the emotions of these women.

Every person who has accepted Christ as their personal Savior is supposed to be representing Christ by being an illustration of Him.

Emotions are credible and valuable. Jesus had/has complete understanding of emotions. We as leaders of our wife’s and children’s spirits should seek this same understanding.

Since we live here on earth, where Satan brings so much grief, isn’t it exhilarating and gratifying to think we can counteract Satan by bringing comfort to the hearts/spirits of other people by emotionally understanding them?

A prayer:

Lord,
Help me to walk humbly and WELCOME insights from my wife and others that open my eyes to the things that do not look like You. I want to live a life surrendered to You.
Help me hear my defensiveness.

Help me to act justly and desire to be righteous so I can kill my flesh daily as it tries to deceive me.

And help me to love mercy; that deep commitment to kindness and loyalty to Your ways. For my love to actually feel like love to others, extending grace just as God extends it. Help me to desire to forgive and help others, putting them above my desires.

Help my life to not be about religion and tradition, but one that shows You through me to everyone around me.

Amenn

A brotherhood pursuing truth.
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