CFTi Foundation

EMOTIONAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN
Emotional abuse is commonly defined as systematic attacks on a child's emotional well-being and sense of self-worth.
What are the specific forms of emotional abuse?
• REJECTION
Abuse occurs when a parent or caretaker withholds affection or refuses to acknowledge the child's presence or accomplishments. A rejecting adult is emotionally unavailable, detached, and often devalues a child's thoughts and feelings. In a variety of ways, the abusing adult communicates dislike for the child who also may become the "scapegoat" for family problems.
• HUMILIATION
Abuse occurs when an adult consistently insults, mimics, and degrades a child. It can include sarcastic comments, name-calling, yelling, swearing or shaming a child in private or public.
• ISOLATION
Abuse occurs when a parent or caregiver restricts a child's contact with others, preventing him or her from forming friendships. Normal family interactions are restricted; a child may be required to stay in his or her room, closet, basement or attic for extended periods of time.
• TERRORIZE
An adult can abuse a child by threatening to use a knife or other means to hurt, torture or kill a pet, loved one or the child. It includes forcing a child to watch violent acts, threats of abandonment, and/or placing a child in dangerous situations.
• CORRUPTION
Encouraging antisocial or delinquent behaviour in children is a form of emotional abuse. Corruption exists when children are given alcohol or other drugs, shown pornographic materials, or are exposed to cruelty toward animals or other human beings.
• EXPLOITATION
Abuse occurs when children are used for advantage or profit, such as involving them in stealing, assaulting, drug dealing or prostitution.
Some of the indicators of child emotional abuse
 low self-confidence/poor self-image
 unable in trust/fearful
 dependent/withdrawn
 anxious/depressed
 too compliant/hypervigilant
 detached/difficulty forming relationships
 little enthusiasm/low perseverance
 demanding/aggressive
 destructive/cruel
 passive-aggressive/compulsive-obsessive
 delayed emotionally, socially and/or academically
 sleep and/or speech disorders
 self-destructive/suicidal
 alcohol or drug abuse

1. Read stories or books aloud together.
2. Film family celebrations or take pictures that help children recall pleasant memories.
3. Place photos in frames or in albums to view together.
4. Tell family stories.
5. Watch movies or television shows together that are educational or that reinforce your values.
6. Set aside an evening once a week when you eat pizza or popcorn and watch a movie or play a game together.
7. Participate in bedtime rituals such as telling or reading a story, singing a song, and/or saying a prayer.
8. Share interests such as gardening, woodworking, singing, baking, hiking, playing an instrument, being active in a sport, etc.
9. Do activities together like taking walks, having picnics, visiting museums, attending sports events, volunteering, or participating in school functions.
10. Prepare traditional foods made for certain occasions

THE 8 “L’S” OF PARENTING
• LOVE your child. For your child to be successful, he or she must feel valued. Your gentle touches, smiles and hugs communicate love. Giving your undivided attention, especially at the end of each day, demonstrates caring.

• LOOK for the good in your child and make specific comments on what he or she does well. You must believe in your child's worth before he or she can believe it. If you want your child to have self-confidence and motivation, watch for positive behaviors and comment on them.

• LISTEN, without judgment, to your child express his or her thoughts and feelings. If you do not listen, your child may attempt to gain your attention by misbehaving.

• LAUGH with your child, not at him or her. Demonstrate a sense of humor as you cope with life's difficulties. Laugh and play together.

• LABOR diligently and with pride so that your child will want to work hard, persevere and do his or her best.

• LEARN new information. It is fine to say, I don't know, but then add that you both can find out together. Take the time to read and thus instill a love of learning. On car trips play word games, read or listen to books on tape.

• LEAVE the television and other media off. Many programs and video games desensitize your child towards violence and contribute to fearfulness and aggression. Place computers in central locations to monitor internet use.

• LIVE life to its fullest. Take pleasure in little things like an ice cream cone, a beautiful day or the enthusiasm of your child. Read, pretend, dance, sing, take walks, play games, have pleasant meals, look at photos, share dreams, and enjoy each other.

Remember: Your child will most likely adopt the attitudes and habits you demonstrate daily.