Freya Birth

What fears are speaking to you this pregnancy?

When I talk about working through fears that arise I'm not talking about conquering or eliminating them because fear serves an important purpose, and it's impossible to completely remove it anyways as there will always be some fear when we do interesting and brave things.

It's about bringing them to the surface and becoming familiar with them so they're not unconsciously controlling your experience.

When you push aside, cover up, or leave fears unresolved, they can often get between you and your intuition, driving your decisions under the guise of "helpfulness".

I love this letter to fear in the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. (I have taken parts out and edited a bit)

Dearest Fear,

{Birth} and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you'll be joining us. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life. -- You're allowed to have a seat, and you're allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You're not allowed to touch the road maps, you're not allowed to suggest detours, your not even allowed to fiddle with the temperature. -- And above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.

Incredible series of images by

I'm often asked why I love birth so much.

I have given many answers over the years. I felt confident and powerful after my unmedicated births. I felt connected to my body and baby in a very special way. I felt a deep sense of pride and achievement at the work I did to prepare and the way I made it through the births themselves.

But lately I've realized that the true reason is that birth makes me FEEL.

I have always been someone who through my own life experiences learned to just tough things out, grin and bear it, soldier through and take a lot of pride in my strength and how little the events around me affected me. But after doing so much work the last few years I see now that I actually did all that by cutting myself off from my actual feeling self. That FEELING sense became a foreign and unused thing.

Yet as I was pregnant and did all the work to prepare for my births, the things that made them so beautiful, and still makes attending them magical for me, is the deep feeling and humanity of it all. The openness and vulnerability, the raw, unedited depth of people's souls that shines through in those sacred hours.

And yet I realized that while I had accessed that power on the inside while birthing I had still never felt safe to let it show to those around me. For those observing I was calm and controlled and no one could see the epic journey happening inside.

Because this is one of the gifts that birth offers, this opportunity to be brought face to face with our feeling world, and as we process how the birth went internally, we can see clearly what our coping mechanisms are, and if we want to continue with them, or if it's time to do the work of changing.

For me this last birth was a step on my journey to take my armor off, pull my walls down, and to find safety in softness and connection.

What did your birth teach you about yourself?📷