Insight

WELCOMING A LITTLE VISITOR
I woke up sad on Christmas morning for no discernible reason and was rather blue and out of sorts all day.

It was uncomfortable. I wanted to hurry up and fix it…repair myself…snap out of it, but I knew better.

My one small thing was to see this heart-heaviness as an opportunity instead of a burden.

As I endeavored to hold space for my feelings, I had to admit they were very familiar. Yes, it seems I’m in charge of a disconsolate inner toddler again this year.

I realize she has likely been present for every Christmas since 1962, but I pushed her away.

Now that I am committed to caring for her more consciously, I can see exactly why I have avoided her.

It is so important I welcome her without hesitation, attune to her, and help her regulate and soothe her Big Feelings.

STAYING PUT
This weekend I slightly shifted my usual rhythms and routines and elected to stay put in solitude for a bit instead of quickly heading toward the comforts of companionship.

This choice evoked surprising discomfort in moments, coinciding with some sadness and confusion that made me wonder at my wisdom in choosing to be alone at this particular point in the holiday season. I noticed once again what a creature of habit I can tend to be, and ultimately, how shaking up my routines a little is excellent for raising self-awareness.

My one small thing was to sit self-compassionately with my own discomfort, to welcome the feelings arising to be noticed and embraced, and to trust my own capacity to companion myself with sensitivity and grace.

WALKING DOWN THE DAY
At the end of my last work week of 2024, my heart felt tender and a little on the heavy side. Sometimes sitting in my small apartment can make burdens feel big.

My one small thing was to invite myself to bundle up cozily and take a sunset stroll, walking down the day. Something about getting out into the chilly air, with the scent of wood smoke and dry leaves, the colors of Christmas lights, the peacefulness of the ducks and geese on the creek, helped give me perspective and ease my heart.