The Better Living Collaborative

Every now and again, I encounter that person. The one where I can see that they don't necessarily believe what I am telling them.

These people used to be a huge, huge shame-trigger for me. I would immediately launch into all the ways I was right, working in the research I'd done or all the proof of an incident I had.

Because the benefit of the doubt had always been an elusive thing for me, being in an abusive relationship that often included implications that I "wouldn't be believed anyway" further upended my concept of self-truth. I doubted myself at least as much as others did - even when I knew I was truthful to a fault.

When I worked through those issues, I found that no more people believed me than had before I worked through them. That's just how it is. Some people are never going to believe me. The shift was in how I accepted that fact without being consumed by it any longer. I learned that when I could feel the inner confidence of my own truth, it mattered much less how others perceived my knowledge and experiences. It was incredibly freeing.

The confidence to know what you know: That's Radical Wellness

How often do you hear someone (maybe yourself) referred to as 'resilient', or as 'not resilient'?

We deliver this judgment the same way we refer to curly or straight hair or green or brown eyes: as if it's something we are born with (or without).

That's just not true.

Resilience isn't a character trait. It's a skillset—a set of tools you build to help yourself absorb the initial blow of a trauma. It's essential, but only part of the story when it comes to navigating traumatic events—and the messaging about it is so, so wrong.

Whether I'm counseling, speaking, or consulting, I think it's important to explore a new view on resilience, and I can teach you how to build up your own, customized resilience toolkit for yourself or for your organization; one that won't leave you relying on this response alone, or stuck in a cycle of constantly being 'resilient' until you burn yourself out.

Ready to learn more? Visit my webpage, grab a free download on self-compassion, or dm me for an exploration call.