Dr. Wall & Associates

A wounded inner child will hold those close to them accountable for abuse committed by prior perpetrators.⁠
⁠
This is done by projecting abusive parents or abuse dynamics onto those close to us, such as our partners or children.⁠
⁠
It mostly goes onto our partners in some of the following examples.⁠
⁠
*Trying to get our partners to be more sensitive to our needs.⁠
*Having big reactions to our partner's problems or quirks.⁠
*Sabotaging, picking fights, or demanding perfection to create distance or superiority.⁠
*Acting out, keeping secrets, or overly protecting our independence.⁠
⁠
The people close to you may have their issues, and you may be with an unsafe or highly dysfunctional partner, but the projection is still there. It's not one or the other.⁠
⁠
Another way to look at this problem is to think of our own parents and why they hurt each other or their children. What were they projecting or punishing the wrong people for their issues?⁠
⁠
Chances are, if you are working on yourself, you might be doing this to much lesser degrees, but the concept is something we all struggle with until we can reparent our inner child around who needs to be truly held accountable for what happened to us.⁠
⁠
The long path to healing revolves around letting people be themselves, seeing who they are, and fully seeing their humanity.⁠
⁠
This can't be done by just trying to shoot for that. We need to check how our inner child views those close to us. What's the narrative about your partner not making that appointment or paying their credit card bill late? Who do they become to your inner child?

Michell C. Clark