Remedy Counseling

When weekly therapy isn’t enough, a Brainspotting Intensive offers a deeper, faster path to healing.
One focused session can help your brain and body release what’s been holding you back, so you can finally move forward.

Learn more or schedule your Intensive: https://www.remedycounseling.com/intensive-copy

I get asked this question all the time.

If you’ve been in a narcissistic relationship, you might be sorting through a deep fog—questioning your memory, your instincts, even your worth. That’s not just emotional confusion; it’s nervous system injury.

Gaslighting, blame-shifting, emotional withdrawal—these are real harms. And they can leave lasting imprints.

So let’s start here: You don’t owe compassion to someone who continually violates your boundaries.

That said—here’s what I’ve seen: narcissistic traits often develop as protective adaptations to early trauma. When a child grows up without being truly seen or soothed or loved, they build an identity that says, “If I can’t be loved for who I am, I’ll be admired for who others need or want me to be.”

But compassion for their pain does not require self-abandonment.

Insight doesn’t equal unlimited access.

Understanding doesn’t mean tolerating mistreatment.

And here’s where I want to be clear: I don’t support the pathologizing or polarizing language that says “narcissists are evil,” “they can never change,” or “throw them away.” That kind of othering may feel justified at first, but it often keeps us stuck in cycles of blame, reactivity or feeling vicitmized—when what we really need is clarity, boundaries, and repair.

Healing isn’t about excusing behavior. It’s about seeing the full picture—how trauma can create protective masks—and deciding what you need to heal from.

Think of it like this: If someone’s drowning, they might pull others down with them. You can understand why they’re panicking. But you’re still allowed to swim to shore.

An integrative trauma approach means holding both: The reality of your pain AND the humanity of the person who caused it.

But here’s the key: accountability is non-negotiable.
For healing to happen—on either side—there must be willingness to look inward, repair harm, and grow.

If you’re fresh out of a narcissistic dynamic, your job isn’t to fix them. It’s to come home to yourself.

Mental health is complex—trauma is just one piece of the puzzle. Genetics, brain chemistry, and life experiences all play a role. Let’s support a well-rounded understanding!
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🔗Click the link below to take the quiz. https://wix.quizell.com/preview/j64zPMOS6Y2sq0QWUf4rMS1577400

Mental health challenges are more common than one might think. According to the WHO, one in eight people live with a mental health disorder. Anxiety and depression alone impact over 280 million people.
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Learn more about ADHD Evaluations at
🔗 https://www.remedycounseling.com/services-adhdevaluation

➡️ Mental health is about so much more than your thoughts or mindset. These conditions are influenced by a complex interplay of factors, including brain chemistry, genetics, nervous system regulation, hormones, and even physical health aspects like sleep, nutrition, and gut health.
 
Mental health challenges are not a sign of weakness, laziness, or a lack of willpower. They’re real, multifaceted conditions that affect the entire body and require a compassionate, informed approach to healing. By breaking this myth, we can foster a deeper understanding of mental health, reduce stigma, and create space for real solutions that promote well-being for the whole person—mind, body, and spirit.

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution—everyone’s journey deserves a personalized approach.