Cole Wellness

Staying busy all the time isn't productivity. It's oftentimes just procrastination dressed up to look like it.

Being busy doesn't equal productivity, effectiveness, or happiness. Sometimes it's just a bunch of unnecessary noise.

I've played guitar since elementary school. I've enjoyed it my entire life. And what I've learned from music is this — the best songs have space to breathe. The notes are intentional. The chords are intentional. Everything is crafted purposefully to create an experience. It's not busy for the sake of being busy.

Too much sound without intention or purpose is just noise.

Real music requires space to breathe. The notes need to be heard. Experienced. Felt.

Real music is intentional. Purposeful. Aligned. It has a rhythm to it.

How about your life?

Are you intentionally creating music? Are you allowing time and space to actually breathe? Or are you just banging around making a bunch of damn noise?

Your life should be a song you want to listen to.

Not a bunch of noise you're trying to run from.

Have a great day.

Theory is free. Application and ex*****on — that's going to cost you something.

I knew fast food was bad for me before the first time I ever ate it. The last time I ate it was just a few days ago.

I knew credit cards were dangerous before I ever maxed the first one out.

I knew drugs and alcohol were poison before the first time I ever tried them.

Knowing something doesn't mean anything on its own.

You can read every self help book ever written. Nothing is going to change in your life without learning how to practically apply the principles.

Adjusting your beliefs is absolutely necessary. That's part of the theory. But disciplined aligned action — that's what is actually going to make a difference. That's the investment that gets you the life you want.

Theory is free.

The life you want is going to cost you something.

Make that investment.

Have a great day.

Contrary to popular belief — you really can control how you feel.

Most of us falsely believe that satisfaction is going to come from getting what we want. From the plans working out precisely as we predicted. That that's going to be the thing that finally makes us happy.

Here's the problem with that. We can't control other people or circumstances. We can't control anything outside of ourselves. So we're left with our happiness being controlled by people, places, things, and circumstances working out exactly the way we want them to — which is rarely going to happen. So we stay miserable.

What you can control is your story.

The story you tell yourself about the situations, circumstances, and people in your life. Is this an opportunity or a liability? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

It doesn't matter what story you tell yourself about the situation — whatever story you decide to tell is precisely the emotional experience you're going to have. If you tell yourself it's going to be stressful it will be. If you tell yourself it's going to be an opportunity it will also be.

Which one are you going to choose?

Control your mind and you control the story. Control the story and you control your mood. Control your mood and you're probably going to choose something a lot happier than whatever you've been experiencing.

Ultimately you are in control.

Period.

Have a great day.

Do you want a coping skill that can help you right now today?

It'll help you avoid conflict. Improve your mood, your attitude, your mindset. It will especially improve your relationships.

It's super simple, available to everyone, and it's free.
It's called shutting the f*** up.

I'm not even joking.

Learning to use your two eyes and two ears abundantly while using your voice sparingly is a gift.

It's also a skill.

You just don't have to say the thing. That urge that comes up in conversation to say that thing — you can just let it pass. The first thought running through your head is oftentimes just your inner child or teenager trying to run the show anyway.

When you're activated — angry, upset, frustrated — pause, breathe, watch, and listen.

We can avoid making so many situations worse by just keeping our mouth shut. Because that hurtful thing you're about to say because you feel hurt right now?

You're going to regret it tomorrow anyway.

Your activated emotions are just going to make it worse.

Breathe. Pause. Shut up.

Have a great day.