Tyus

As we go into this new year, I want to share with you all what’s on my heart.

A couple years ago, I made some big mistakes and faced some big trials due to my own missteps and self-centered approach to dealing with the troubles in my life. The last couple years have been difficult. I did my very best to repent and ask for forgiveness from those I’ve hurt along the way. Thanks be to God, a lot of those prayers were answered, and much grace was given to me.

Despite that, I haven’t forgiven myself. It’s not easy to admit; even saying it makes me feel more guilty for thinking about myself. Every time I go on social media and see my former friends and people I used to see as family, I tell myself horrible things and how much better off they are without me. Nothing is worse than knowing you hurt somebody and that they’re not in your life anymore because of you. I started to grow numb to joy and happiness.

This mentality started to make me hide from the Lord. I would talk to Him privately every night about it, but I admit I became scared to open His Word because I felt like I’d reached the end of the line; that His grace wasn’t sufficient enough for me.

I don’t want to do that anymore.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” -2 Corinthians 12:9

To those I’ve hurt, please hear me when I truly say I am sorry for my failures. I’m sorry that I let idols take a foothold in my life, and that this private war I was fighting poured over into the lives of so many people I love dearly. I am sorry for my wicked ways, and most of all for how that hurt you.

As I go into 2026, I’m still battling. I want to put Jesus first. I’m not perfect by any means; I get caught up in stupid distractions and end up giving the enemy my time and attention. I pray this year I can change that. I pray that I get into the Word not just to appear like I follow Jesus, but because I truly want to follow Him.

The song “Yahweh” by has been a reminder of that for me. So many years ago, I heard it and it became my anthem. In the midst of a dark world, God sent His only Son to die for my sins. I can never fully comprehend why He did it. Sometimes I even fight it because I tear myself apart over my imperfections. But living that way is the opposite of the good news of the Gospel.

This year, I’m making an attempt to change how I live. I want to return to that place of joy and happiness that can only be found in following Jesus.

If you’re reading this, thank you for your time. I ask if you can keep me in prayer. I feel silly sharing this, but I believe the Spirit led me to do it tonight.

May God’s blessing be on you and your family this year. I love you all. God bless you all.

Sincerely,
Tyus

PS I tried to get that terrible background noise out, but couldn’t get it. Sorry! :/