Heart Open ConversAsians

Healing from trauma can look different for everyone. And so does trauma itself.

The kind of trauma my gal-pal and I talked about last evening, is the kind that relates to past hurts, patterns and dynamics in a marital partnership and how, in the quest of trying to work on and better the relationship, you somehow develop a shuddering fear whenever a similar interaction occurs, that the same unhealthy and damaging pattern of communication will rear its ugly head once again.

The fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time that’ll ignite an undesirable reaction from your partner that makes you shut down so that the yelling and fighting will stop. The fear of the ‘what if’ of not being able to heal and arrive at a better place together. The fear that you’ll never be truly understood nor embraced by the one person you’ve chosen to live your life with.

Healing from traumas is so tricky. It takes time, it’s not linear, and it looks different for everyone. Therein lies in that process the need for awareness, compassion and empathy for self, aspects that we may not have always known innately to gift to ourselves freely. Therein lies the courage to try, to be supported by others in the trying, and with each healthy exchange, gain confidence and hope that the next exchange and the next will get better than the one before it.

You’re not wrong to decide to try,
Neither are you wrong to decide to walk away. What’s worst than not being honest to the other person, is being honest to yourself.

Remember who you are,
And may you always have the courage to honor it, trust it, choose it.

Hello dear one, and hello much needed weekend. How are you? I’ve been pretty swamped by a combination of work and business travels and am extremely grateful for this weekend that wound up being an easy and quiet one in the cost compounds of home. It truly is about the simpler things sometimes, won’t you agree?

In this Thursday-ish episode, I’m showing up in my pretty worn-out, a tad jetlagged and sluggish (allergies season!) being, coming to you with an episode sharing a recent catch-up sesh with a dear friend, who also is a repeat guest on my podcast, Sylvia Cheng. The pull to share this conversation stemmed from my reach for reminders to notice and relish moments, things and people around me amidst the hustle and to slow down and make space for these fleeting yet meaningful moments.

Sylvia and I spend this time catching up on life since the first conversation, creative pivots she made with her business, and how pouring into her business in turn became support and nourishment on her own self care. This is a heartwarming one, I hope you’ll enjoy it and then be stirred to connect with a loved one this week. Deep breathes always, dear ones. .

The sun. The way it fills, nourishes and energizes me. Anyone else? ☔️🙋🏻‍♀️ It’s been quite the brutally gloomy, rainy and cold week here (by Houston’s standards). The sun’s out for the first time this week yesterday and my level of elation was hard to contain, to the extent that I wrote in the greeting in a work email to my counterpart: “Am I the only one who’s chirpier already just because the sun’s shining and smiling at us?”. And to my pleasant surprise, I got the response of “I was just thinking that and oh yes, I feel the same! Enjoy the weekend!” :)

Hello dear ones. How are ya? Have you been taking care of yourself, especially during seasons and periods when it’s darker, wetter, gloomier than usual? If you’re in search of some tips from your Jane next door for some tried and tested practices that helped, do hop onto the pod space and find last week’s episode on the podcast where I shared 5 things that worked for me to find mental, physical and emotional balance through this season that’s by far not my jam. I hope this was supportive and keep you warm, both literally and figuratively.

How’s the weather where you are? Drop an emoji in the comments and let me know! ☀️🌤️❄️🌬️⛄️☔️🌊