Alonso The Poet

I wrote this poem for my mother after she passed. Happy Mothers day.

En Memoria
By Alonso

I have written this poem so many times before
And here I sit trying to write it once more
Each time it never says what I want it to say
About how I feel now that in earth she lay
I am angry about the guy who ran the light
I blame the doctors who didn’t treat her right
I lash out against a system that doesn’t care
I wallow in my feelings of guilt and despair
For so long I lived my life just feeling numb
Afraid of the ghosts that over time would come
My mind stuck on that moment in the past
The morning that was, she spoke to me last
It seemed at the time a day so ordinary
But in the end it changed everything for me
A whole month I sat at her hospital bedside
But I wasn’t there on the morning she died
I saw her lying there in the bed so cold and still
Words were spoken about this being God’s will
Well-intentioned condolences sadly amiss
If there is a God he had nothing to do with this
But people don’t really know what else to say
And words cannot make the pain go away
Nothing can be done to stop the tears
I can hear her voice whisper in my ears
No te preocupes mi hijo there is nothing to forgive
But I fear doubt shall follow me as long as I live
This poem is not meant to elicit sympathy
I just want to honor my mother’s memory
I remember in the days when I was young
When I hurt myself the little rhyme she sung
“Sana, sana, culito de rana,
Si no sana hoy, sanara manana”
Her words would make everything ok
And the pain and tears would fade away
Never in my life was there any other
Who showed me love like my mother
Through thick and thin, right or wrong
She always stood by me forever strong
Of my life these days the happiest were
Fond memories that still make my heart stir
“Eres mi Cielo, mi amor y mi vida,” mama said
Every night as she tucked me into my bed
For years the words I never understood
Because my Spanish just wasn’t so good
But in my heart still I knew what she meant
With every action and word she made it evident
As I grew up lots of times she couldn’t be there
Though it was never because she did not care
She would come home exhausted after working late
To put food on the table no sacrifice was too great
As time passed I grew rebellious in my ways
I was angry and given to dramatic displays
And even then, when I would stand against her
Her love was still something, nothing could deter
No matter what happened as the years went by
My mom was there for me and would never deny
I wish that I could only be
Even half as strong as she
And right now all that I want to do
Is write a poem that lives up to you
Time heals all wounds or at least they say so
But some things will never be a long time ago
And still though I try
I can’t say goodbye
So with these words all I can do
Is to say once again that I love you
In your name I shall overcome my strife
As your Heaven, your love and your life
Tu Cielo, tu amor y tu vida siempre soy
En su memoria mama, voy a vivir por hoy

Rosa Menendez, R.I.P. 10/26/37 - 6/3/2006