Phillips Exeter Academy

Humberto Mata ’86 was big man on campus during his time at Exeter.

Student Council president. The prince of Wentworth Hall. Voted “future president” by his senior classmates in the yearbook. Accepted to Harvard.

But nobody knew him, not fully. He had to “edit” himself because he was gay.

Mata recounted his time at Exeter to an assembly audience on the eve of Exeter Belonging, a triennial on-campus celebration that highlights individual cultural groups and the impact they have on the greater Exeter community. This weekend, Exeter will celebrate the vibrant history and impact of LGBTQIA+ Exonians.

Mata said he and others like him had to “edit” themselves — to parents, to teachers and coaches, to friends — and navigate their adolescence mostly alone.

“In the ‘80s, no cell phones, no email, no internet,” he said. “I had to go to the freaking library to the card catalog to look up homosexuality because we didn’t know, we as gay kids didn’t know how to think about it. We had no idea what was happening.

“You grow up hearing homophobic stuff, the news is homophobic, comments are homophobic, right? And you don’t know how people are going to react. You don’t know how your parents are going to react. The process of coming out, which is long and sometimes painful, allows you to start really for the first time ever telling your parents who you are without editing yourself.

“I had to edit myself at Exeter,” he said. “We couldn’t talk about the people we cared for. And this is not something every community goes through. This is why it’s particularly important for events like this weekend’s and for institutions like Exeter to lead the way.”

Principal Elliott ushered in the new school year — Exeter's 246th — with her first Opening Assembly. "I cannot wait to begin this work with you." Read her full remarks.

Opening Assembly 2026 - Phillips Exeter Academy Principal Elliott's remarks for Exeter's Opening Assembly 2026