Michigan Animal Control LLC

Well, that was awkward…. This morning I had to go to a clients house to deal with a skunk. The skunk has been avoiding their trap for a while. So they called in a pro. Today was my arrival day. I drove all the way to their house at 6:30 this morning slow crawl down the road to figure out what the address was and where the house was and just as I pulled into the driveway the skunk came from under a bush and I ran it over. Now mind you I did not see the thing. I pulled into the driveway and I parked and grabbed all of my gear and when I got out, I could smell it. I walked towards the door and I couldn’t smell it as much, so I looked back at my van and I realized I had just run over the thing that I was coming to trap. So I knocked on the door and told them it was a success and introduced myself. That was the quickest skunk job I’ve ever done. Unfortunate but a win.

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where he got it. He told them to leave him alone and let him get some sleep.
However, they persisted until he finally gave in. "Okay, follow me," he said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "YES, YES, YES!" all the other bats screamed in a frenzy.

"Good," shouted the bat, "because I didn't!"
Credit to: the hilarious Dawn French.