a better monday

If you’re in the doer-to-decision-maker transition, here’s what actually helps.

1. Get clear on what you’re actually responsible for now. What does your role exist to achieve? Start there.

2. Learn what it means to lead others, not be a doer. Your job now is to make sure the people executing the work have what they need. Clear direction, thought partnership, resources, and someone to run interference when Ben from finance gets involved in an unhelpful way.

3. Notice when you’re micromanaging out of nerves, and get ahead of it. The urge to jump back in and do it yourself usually isn’t about other people’s capabilities, it’s about control. Ask yourself: what would it take for me to trust this? Usually the answer is more visibility — check-ins, milestones, progress points built in before you get to “”I’m just taking it back.””

4. Get support for the mental and emotional side of this. The shift from doer to decision maker changes how you see yourself at work. You don’t have to figure that out alone.

Save Part 1 if you haven’t yet. And if you’re working through this transition and want support, DM us.

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

The first year I was a decision maker, I silently thought I was failing almost every day.

I used to be a doer. My value had receipts — deliverables, deadlines, things you could point to. A good day was visible.

Then I got promoted, and suddenly I couldn’t tell if I’d done anything.

Here’s what nobody explains: as a doer, your value is visible. As a decision maker, it’s mostly invisible. You’re thinking, asking questions, clearing the path so your team can move. That is the work — it’s just not the kind that shows up on a checklist. Nobody told you the scorecard changed overnight.

I hear this constantly in coaching. Women get promoted because they were executing at a high level — reliable, delivering, trusted. Then the role changes completely and the old measures don’t apply anymore.

You are not failing. Your job changed, so the game changed.

If you’ve ended a day feeling like you added zero value and you’re about to get found out — I see you. Part 2 is coming.

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

If you’re a woman at work, I’d bet you’re doing this mental math every single day. Part 1.

You might not even realize it’s happening, but there is a constant, exhausting calculation running in the background every time you speak up, push back, or take up space.

It’s not just will this land well. It’s will this land well coming FROM ME. And that is a completely different equation.

And if you hold marginalized identities? The math gets even more complicated. We’re not talking basic arithmetic anymore. We’re talking next-level calculus just to get through a single meeting.

Here are two things you can start practicing. Edit to match your voice and context.

When you want to push back:
“”I see this differently. I’d love to share where I’m coming from and hear where you’re coming from.””

When you want to own your work:
“”It was such a privilege to lead that project. Here’s what it took to get there.””

Small steps, many times.

Stay tuned for Part 2 — because we’re just getting started.

Have you caught yourself doing this mental math at work? Tell us in the comments.

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

Ridiculous emails women have to deal with at work. Volume 1.

We’re just going to leave these here.

📧 Credit Grabbing. Translation: I took your idea, put my name on it, and I’m offering you a seat at your own table.

📧 Mansplaining. Translation: I don’t think you understand your own report. Let me fix that for you.

📧 Undermining. Translation: I went around you, managed your team, and CC’d Mark to make sure everyone knows it.

This is Volume 1, because because there are way too many to fit in one post.

Drop the most unhinged work email you’ve ever received in the comments. We’re reading every single one. 👇

And follow along...next week we’re breaking down exactly how to respond to each of these.