The Radiant Life Project

Somehow you’re both the victim and the villain. How is this possible? In toxic relationships and family systems it’s not only possible, but common. It’s a strategic mechanism to keep the people in the family who are the abusers—the harmful, dysfunctional people who refuse to look at themselves—avoidant of taking ownership of blame and accusation by projecting those energies toward you.

If you’re carrying the burden of both villain and victim, no one else in the system has to. And if the entire system agrees, that makes you the odd person out. And that really works for the system, even if it hurts you deeply.

Here’s how it works:

VICTIM: you are hurt repeatedly. Psychologically, emotionally, physically. And you were taught to believe that you either deserve to be hurt (which you do not), or need to allow yourself to be hurt in order to secure belonging.

VILLAIN: Although you are being hurt, you’re somehow led to believe that you are actually the bad guy. The story goes that you are the aggressor, you are the one to blame, you are the problem—which is most often completely false.

💥📖 If this is all too relatable, my book will help. Read “Mend or Move On” for support and healing.
💥💥ORDER: https://a.co/d/0dobvR2n

***

If your system is used to being in Toxic relationships, they may have become familiar and “normal” to your nervous system.

When you grow beyond the dynamics of dysfunctional relationships and build healthier dynamics, your nervous system might be on alert for a while because of how unfamiliar the healthy flow feels. The nervous system may need time and repetition trust what’s happening.

It’s an indication of growth to attract healthier relationships. If you continue to show your nervous system healthy patterns and meaningful connection, it will start to wire in accordance with those dynamics and your comfort with these healthy relationships will increase.

💥Ready to end toxic relationships for good? I’ve got you with my new book “Mend or Move On.”
💥ORDER: https://a.co/d/056fpd0w

***