Ali Bonar

My favorite pregnancy symptom? I give zero f*x about being the “cool girl.”

There’s something about growing a human that instantly transformed me from people pleaser into dgaf-milf-to-be 🕺🏻

I don’t go out to stay relevant. I don’t glorify stress. I don’t try to act mysterious (let’s be real, I’ve never been mysterious a day in my life). I don’t pretend I can function on 5 hours of sleep. And most importantly, I don’t care what people think of me.

I think it’s because I’m doing the most insane thing a person can do (aka creating another person), so I feel a new sense of self-assuredness. Who tf cares if I cancel social plans to sleep?! I grew a liver today.

Being pregnant made me realize how much of my life I spent performing. Acting a certain way or doing things to make others comfortable. Sacrificing my own needs to make others happy. Spending precious headspace thinking about the way I said something, or how others perceived me.

But the kicker is… I didn’t need to get pregnant to stop people pleasing. I wish I prioritized my needs earlier, because they matter!

So if you needed a sign to prioritize yourself and stop pretending to be ~the cool girl~, it’s right here. Be authentically yourself, embrace the idea that some people won’t like you, and say no to plans when they’re not a hell yes 💛

for most of my life, I didn’t want to be a mom. I was sold the millennial girlboss dream: achieve more, earn more, climb higher and you’ll be happy!

so I focused on my career… and valued the ability to spontaneously book a flight to Ibiza whenever I wanted.

then I turned 30, and something changed. I’m not sure if it was hormones, my biological clock ticking louder, or seeing my friends start families of their own. but suddenly, it didn’t feel *so* terrible.

I got pregnant right after our wedding and was terrified. it felt like getting strapped into a rollercoaster where you realize there’s no getting off, so you might as well hold on for dear life.

I expected to hate pregnancy - 9 months of discomfort, hormones, giving up control… all in exchange for the nice little prize at the end.

but nothing could’ve prepared me for what it actually felt like.

for the first time in my life, I feel a sense of purpose i’ve never felt before. I’ve never felt so powerful (literally creating consciousness?!), so dynamic (while taking investor calls?!), so feminist (men could never?!)

and above it all, such an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the opportunity to experience something so deeply human

I’m not about to go tradwife on you - I still deeply value women making their own money, building careers and having independence - but I wanted to highlight something that I completely got wrong.

I had unintentionally framed motherhood as something that would take from my life – my freedom, identity, ambition, momentum.

instead, it’s added dimensions to me I didn’t know existed 💛