Empowered Academy

Unpopular opinion 🤷🏼‍♀️

People stay congruent with who they think they are….. which is why we have GOT to stop using labels 🙅🏼‍♀️

I use them in my content because it’s the way that you can relate but I see so many people saying :

“My codependency”
“My anxious attachment”
“My attachment style”
“My abuser”
“My avoidant”

Or
“I am anxious attached”
“I am codependent”
“I am depressed”
“I am a love addict”

The words that you say matter and when we speak in this way we are actually CLAIMING these symptoms as part of our identity.

You in your whole aren’t what you’re experiencing… only parts of you

So here is what you can say instead

💛“Parts of me are experiencing parts that feel anxious attachment”

💛“Parts of me are experiencing codependent patterns”

💛“Parts of me are experiencing depression”

💛“Parts of me are experiencing symptoms of love addiction”

When we speak in these terms it allows us to detach from the identity of what we’re experiencing and allowing us to release it at an accelerated level 👏🏻👏🏻

How are you going to use this moving forward?👇🏻

What we can learn from the Tinder Swindler

Man… did Simon come in HOT flaunting his charisma, designer clothes, and extravagant life style

For any woman who is desperate for love of course this was a total fantasy come true 💁🏼‍♀️

He swoops in

🚫Confesses his love QUICKLY and OVERWHELMINGLY

🚫Drops everything to be by your side

🚫Makes extravagant acts of love & gives constant and consistent attention

🚫He seemingly saves you from all the pain + heartbreak you’ve experienced your whole life

🚫And gives you a sense of worthiness and accomplishment that a man of this caliber picked you.

(All love bombing tactics) 😱

Which is everything you’ve been hoping and dreaming of since you were scribbling in your notebook in 7th grade

If it seems too good to be true it usually is 🤷🏼‍♀️

When we are infatuated with someone (or the facade they put on) the judgment part of our brain deactivates which means your ability to make sound + logical decisions go out the window.

Making you a very easy target for manipulation and love bombing and self abandonment in order to keep their “love”. 💔

If you want to keep yourself from falling into similar patterns with toxic suitors 👇🏻

You must recognize red flags and decide to choose yourself over the need to have this person “be the one” ✨

You must understand what part of you is desperate for love and why ✨

You must set boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship (and stick to them)✨

And when you no longer tolerate this behavior... when someone love bombs you or steps over your boundaries, you automatically repel them. 🙌🏻

In fact, they don't even TRY anymore. It just stops happening altogether. 👏🏻👏🏻

In fact... you start attracting people who not only don't violate your boundaries, they HONOR and APPRECIATE them. They find them sexy. They find them beautiful. 🥰🥰

And the best part? Their appreciation of your boundaries... their validation of you... even though you now have it, you no longer even need it. 🤩

That is true healing.

Want to experience this 'coming home' to yourself? This is exactly the work my clients and I dig into together. Send me a DM for more info. ❤