Phil Gates

Progress 06/23/25. Still showing up everyday no matter what the weather is or how tf I feel. Honestly, it’s the days you don’t feel like doing s**t are the days it’s probably the most important to show up & nobody will give a f**k either way so you might as well do it lol. Lately my life has been a roller coaster ride full of some really high highs & some super low lows. The extremes have been dizzying but I keep to myself for the most part. Trying to do better at not feeling too stressed with the extremes cuz when it’s really bad it tends to hinder progress & when it’s really good the universe seems to jinx the situation in some way so as to balance things out or something. I been trying to do my best to let God lead the way & trust his path but I am human & my brain tends to overthink. Sometimes I’m right. Sometimes I’m wrong. It is what it is. I do know that in most cases I’m the facilitator, the one who initiates, the one who gives. I’m cool with that. I try to think of it as my gift from God. A gift I am grateful for. I am able to create something out of nothing & show others the possibilities as well. No matter the circumstances God always worked things out for me & I know the whole idea is to experience life & all of its wonderful experiences & challenges; all of the emotions & feelings both good & bad should all be cherished. It’s hard whilst going through the tough s**t though I swear & good s**t doesn’t ever seem to last long enough lol. It gets better, or rather we get better regardless of the situation. My frequency has been attracting so many beautiful things but at the same time there are so many things being removed. For once in my life it would be nice to be the 1 who is fought for whether it be friendships or otherwise. I admit I have a handful of boundaries now when it comes to any sort of relationship because when I choose my people I literally give them my all. Rarely is it reciprocated & I try to accept that as the case lately. I try to remove any & all expectations but it’s extremely difficult especially when certain annoyingly human things are involved like feelings & such lol. Trying though & if it’s meant for me I can’t f it up right?

Progress 06/16/25. Woke up early this morning & did my typical routine. Pray, study, & a bit of work before starting my day. I’ve had a lot to thank God for lately & I am so profoundly grateful for his blessings. There’s been a lot of shifts in my life these past few years & it’s been a bit confusing as to the path God is leading me on but I am very clear on what I want & God has given me something so much more than I could have ever dreamed of. It’s not quite clear as to how things will work or how all these puzzle pieces fit together but I know he has already worked it out & I just need to stay on course bettering myself & my situation everyday to make space for the things I truly want in this life. There’s been a lot of losses that didn’t make sense up until now; some still not quite clear but I have faith. I have kept my promise to myself to the best of my ability & continue to try to do & be better everyday; to try to be the man worthy of whatever it is that God has blessed me with & he has truly blessed me even though I know he does not expect that of me. I am pretty private about specific personal things in my life because I’ve found people to be very strange sometimes the way they interpret or internalize things & it can be very disappointing, discouraging, & sometimes even disrespectful honestly. So there are very few individuals I choose to share specific details with be it good or bad but I will say the good lately definitely is worth all the bad I have ever had to face in my life thus far & I will fight until my dying breathe for that to remain in my life. I feel an air of peace & purpose has come back into my life that has been missing for so long & it is refreshing af ngl. I hope I can provide the same to the people that are meant to be a part of this chapter of my life. I thank God every morning as soon as I wake up & every night before I’m off to sleep for the blessings he’s gifted me with & I will remain forever grateful for the love he has given me. It is the most precious thing in my life & I will guard it with everything I have. Thank you God. Thank you for all the progress. I have faith that I am on the right path & it is all because of you.