Flow Copy Collective

You know when you have a song stuck in your head?

But you don't know the lyrics. And despite the fact you don't know a single word you still hum it aloud boldy in your kitchen—confidently just bobbing your head and doing little side steps while you do the dishes?

Look at you dancing despite the fact that you have zero idea what the context is behind the catchy little beat that's bouncing around in your head.

That's how I am practicing my art-making is these days. It doesn't have to make sense. Especially if you're an elder millennial like me coming back from a long pause.

You’ll find the words for your work when you reserve the time to truly sit with them.

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I’m always surprised to survive July.⁠
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Maybe it’s because my Dad didn’t.⁠
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Maybe it’s because I always start the beginning of this month feeling elated.⁠
⁠
Like, I’m fu***ng killing it.⁠
⁠
Like I’m back on Montrose beach.⁠
⁠
Micro-dosing on mushrooms—Lake Michigan, barbecue, best of friends. ⁠
⁠
If grief is a sensitive subject, proceed with caution. ⁠
⁠
It’s been six years since that Friday after the fourth.⁠
⁠
Six years since my brother broke down that door. ⁠
⁠
Seventy-two months since he found Dad’s body on the floor. ⁠
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Grief, no matter where my mind is, always gets me this time of year. ⁠
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I don’t let it get all of me.⁠

I won’t let it get the best of me.

But it does take a lot out of me.
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It’s never something I’m anticipating. ⁠
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So, if it always feels insidious in that way
⁠
But the older I get and the more I observe (what most would consider coincidence), I wonder if grief isn’t as sneaky as I once thought it to be. ⁠
⁠
Maybe grief is just the souls of our loved ones tapping us on the shoulder to say, “Hey, sorry not to bother you. But this month is gonna kinda suck whether you want to deal with it or not. But you got this; I miss you too, and we’re all rooting for you, kid.” ⁠
__________________________⁠
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Slides: ⁠
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Dad used to mail me playlists when I lived in Chicago. I’m talking old-school Limewire downloads (before they were considered pirated).

He would burn them to a CD, write down the entire playlist, and mail it to me on the reg.

Talk about timeless, valuable content. ⁠
⁠
I recently found the old sleeves in storage.

I think If there were one oldies playlist he would pick for late July it would be this one.

Playlist to story and highlight.

https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/lets-live-for-today/pl.u-yZyVEAVI9bJA9p