Hanif Fazal

As I continue to struggle through this learning around how to balance purposeful work, life, and relationships, a few things have become clear...

Amina asked me this question recently.

It has been a constant struggle to figure out how to author a book, lead and sustain a thriving business, advance race equity AND be the father of color I aspire to be, the brother, son, cousin, and nephew I want to be, and the kind of friend that I need to be.

If this type of balance was easy to achieve we would all be living this way!

So how do you balance meaningful and purpose-driven work with meaningful and purpose-driven relationships?

I have learned that advancing race equity in the world needs to start with and constantly include thriving relationships at home. Home is the foundation, and nothing meaningful or sustainable can be built on a faulty foundation.

Dug up this article from over a decade ago!! It is pretty disheartening that even to this day the same issues continue to impact our schools, our children, ourselves. And,

“Bullying may seem to parents like an uncontrollable national crisis, but communication and engagement can make a significant difference” (James, 2011).

The more we can unpack how bullying shows up in both kids and adults, sharing stories and ideas about what works and what doesn't, the better equipped we are to create more empowered outcomes.

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Data updates:
According to the National Center for Education Statistics, about 22% of students ages 12-18 reported being bullied at school in 2019, compared to 28% in 2009.

In a survey of 34,000 LGBTQ young people ages 13-24, 45% seriously considered attempting su***de in 2021 (The Trevor Project, 2022).

I decided to write this post because my daughter Amina so consistently comes to me with experiences of being called names, attempts at silencing her voice, and moments where someone is trying to make her small or hold power over her.

My conversation with Amina below made me reflect on parenting, how sexism is nurtured from one generation to the next, the overall experience of bullying in schools, and our school systems' complete inability to deal with any of this.

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𝗔𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲: 𝘗𝘢𝘱𝘢, 𝘋𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘣*𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭.

𝗠𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗔𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮: 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮?

𝗔𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮: 𝘐 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥, 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥, “𝘙𝘶𝘥𝘦!” 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳.

𝗠𝗲: 𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘫𝘰𝘣 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘋𝘳𝘦. 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘶𝘱. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘺?

𝗔𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮: 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘰𝘵.

𝗠𝗲: 𝘚𝘪𝘨𝘩.

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Year after year as I work through these issues I often wonder, am I the only parent or educator who is dealing with this? Is this a big deal to anyone else? Other than the children being bullied…

Last week CEI launched new programming with 3 nonprofit organizations, all in very different places in their race equity journey and all of whom were willing to jump in and try a fresh approach to the work.

We wanted to get a group of people together who are equally committed to race equity work AND who are not stuck.

We wanted to know: is there a way to move folks through the work faster?

This is MUCH less relational approach to race equity than CEI typically uses, instead we really want to focus on learning by doing. Leaders need to spend more time figuring out how to actually steward race equity work.

Really excited about the possibility that this work (and this group) holds!!