Amanda Good LICSW

…nothing. I kept waiting for something to shift and some invisible force to take hold, but nothing happened.

And then there it was. My urge to apologize for “messing up” somehow, my shame about someone else’s discomfort getting quickly intense.

I took a minute. And then remembered: it is not my responsibility to prevent this person from feeling discomfort. He failed a task in front of a group of people- it happens sometimes! It’s uncomfortable… and that’s A-okay.

Girls, especially ADHDers, get conditioned to over-apologize and that flash of shame can be part of “RSD”- Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Pausing to notice your reaction and choose an authentic response can help immensely. It’s a BIG shift!

We had a laugh, said “maybe next time!” And he moved on to the next trick. No big deal.

Do you ever catch yourself applogizing for no reason?
Practice taking a pause before saying sorry! It’s fine to say it, helpful sometimes of course; but if you use it whenever someone is uncomfortable, start building awareness and growing tolerance for the discomfort rather than taking on the burden of responsibility, and see how it feels🙌