A Not So Typical World

I haven’t posted since before the beginning of summer and now school is about to start on Tuesday…so I guess this is our family update 😊

I want to share about our experience this summer that changed my life and probably the life of our children. I have had a hard time processing what we went though but now that it’s over, here we go.

We spent the first part of the summer packing for our apartment renovation that turned out to be a lot more stressful and expensive than what was expected.

We had to live in an extended stay hotel closer to Minneapolis. It was actually, in what a came to realize later, in one of the most underserved areas in the area. I was expecting us to be in a place that not only let us have our cats with us, but a place that let us live like we were at home while our apartment was being upgraded. It wasn’t, but at least it let us have our cats.

I had to adjust my mindset because we were surrounded by people that were much worse off than us. We had no where else to go for 25 days. Others that were there had no where else to go…period.

We were first hand witnesses to things that most middle class people only hear about on the local evening news, and then get forgotten about the next morning. This was every single day we were there.

In between the chaos we meet some of the best people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. They helped us with our kids and shared plenty of laughs and became like family. These are people that we might have never talked to in our life from before. These people are the reason why we didn’t lose our sanity while in transition.

Some people asked me why we didn’t leave when we realized we were in a dangerous part of town. My answer sadly was we didn’t have a choice unless we were willing to give up our cats. That wasn’t an option. Any family that we have locally wasn’t willing to help, and the family that was willing was too far away.

That experience was life changing, and even though by choice I would never do that again, I still feel like it was an experience worth having. The experience made me mentally tougher and it really made me appreciate the life I have.

Now that we are back into our normal routine and in our new place that looks absolutely amazing, I’m still having trouble adjusting back to myself and maybe that’s ok. I’m different but eventually I’ll be better.

Today was Mothers Day and I wasn’t feeling it.

I woke up way too early because I was depressed. No matter what I did I I couldn’t shake my confused sadness.

Tried to put on a brave face for the kids but I had to hide and sob in the bathroom a few times this morning.

Aaron and I fought and Betty got upset.

They were feeling my sad energy I was trying to mask.

I know part of the depression I was facing was missing my mom.

She been gone for 9 years but Mother’s Day is still bitter sweet.

But there is more.

There’s always been more.

I recently had some mental health issues validated and now they are being treated.

I don’t feel comfortable talking about the specifics, but I know talking about this is important.

It’s amazing to learn more about myself over these last few months and it feels great to know that I can get help for these conditions.

I know I need to to more to keep the depressive issues at bay.

I need to stop isolating myself.

I need to ask for help outside my family.

This didn’t ruin Mothers Day by any means, but it definitely affected the way I’m going I treat myself moving forward.