ThrivePointe Counseling

“When we have kids, we are confronted with so many truths about ourselves, our childhoods, and our relationships with our families of origin.” Parenting is a season of intense growth, discovery, and juggling demands and priorities. It’s normal to have moments of deep pride in ourselves and our children, as well as moments of self-doubt, overwhelm, or flat-out exasperation and anger. You’re not alone in these experiences.

Take a note from Dr. Becky’s playbook, and give yourself a moment of self-compassion:

"I am both working on myself and working to take care of my family. I'm trying to rewire the patterns that do not benefit me and I'm trying to wire my kids, from the start, for resilience and feeling at home in themselves. Wow. I am doing so much."

Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. While many of us take pride in the label, it can have very destructive effects as well. What’s the difference between a health perfectionist and someone who’s caught in maladaptive patterns? Flexibility, resilience, and self-compassion are some of the key features of those who both set high standards, and bounce back from failure so they can continue working towards their goals and living in ways aligned with their values and standards. If you’re caught in more rigid patterns of impossible standards, fears of other people finding out about your imperfections, overwork, or complete shut down — the best thing you can do is seek support. Therapy can help you develop new capacities so your life can embrace the paradox of excellence and imperfection.