Stop Wasting Handshakes

Givers Gain Everything in Life

“We can have everything in life that we want if we help enough other people get what they want.” Zig Ziglar

I was recently asked to give a 2 - 3 minute talk about BNI’s core value of “Givers Gain.” In prep for the talk I remembered that Zig quote, and realized “Givers Gain” isn’t just a slogan BNI’s founder, Dr. Ivan Mosner, came up with, but like Zig’s quote, it’s part of a powerful philosophy that redefines how we all should approach business and personal relationships.

At its core, the Givers Gain mindset means prioritizing what we can give to others over what we can get. It’s about shifting from a transactional mindset to one that’s truly relationship-driven.

And when we embody this mindset, we’re not just working on our own success—we’re actively building a foundation where everyone in our sphere on influence can thrive.

It’s humbling and I’m thankful so many people in my close sphere have the Givers Gain mindset. There was a time, not too long ago, I was questioning my thinking along these lines that Zig shaped back in the late 80s and 90s.

Thankfully, I let God continue to shape me, and I leaned further into Zig and Misner’s thinking.

Consider this when we meet someone for the first or hundredth time: we have an opportunity to make a difference in their lives and businesses. Having a “How can I help you?” or

“Who can I connect you with?” “What can I do for you?” spirit of giving creates an ecosystem where trust grows, relationships deepen, and opportunities flow organically. Instead of chasing leads or sales, instead of “working the room,” instead of just gripping and grinning, instead….we don’t just engage with them at the moment, we plan to stay engaged in some form or fashion.

And, over time we’re surrounded by people who are invested in our success because we’ve shown we’re invested in theirs.

When we extend a hand, give a referral, or share a resource, it sparks a chain reaction. People remember those who have helped them, and they’re naturally inclined to return the favor when the opportunity arises. Imagine a network where everyone is committed to each other’s growth—where each of us is motivated by the success of our peers.

That’s the essence of Givers Gain, and it’s how we’re able to transform simple connections into meaningful relationships.

Givers Gain encourages us to bring generosity into all areas of our lives. It teaches us that a mindset of abundance creates possibilities. When we share our time, talents, and resources, we not only expand our own network and opportunities but also lift up our entire community. It’s about creating a legacy of giving that benefits everyone around us, including those we may never meet directly.

So, I challenge each of us today:

let’s keep finding ways to embrace Givers Gain by looking for ways to support and uplift each other.

Ask yourself, “How can I contribute? How can I connect someone to an opportunity? How can I be a resource?” Because when we do this consistently, we create an environment where everyone is encouraged to reach their full potential.

In the end, the magic of Givers Gain is that when we lift others up, we all rise together.

That’s the epitome of…

“We can have everything in life that we want if we help enough other people get what they want.”

“…give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” Luke‬ ‭6‬:‭38‬ ‭ESV‬‬

To that end…

Make it a great day because it is a great day!

Danny

Not a Life of Quiet Desperation-Living Conscious

Not a Life of Quiet Desperation- Living Consciously

“If the challenges you are facing are the ones life is throwing at you, then you are not yet living a conscious life” - Kain Ramsay

Living consciously is having a hunger, drive, and the desire to create intentional challenges. This raises our level of EQ and pushes us out of our comfort zone. Maybe it’s the intention to be a role model, to lead, to build, or to grow deeper in your faith.

I’ve been camping out in Hebrews chapter 11 the past week. It’s considered the ‘faith’ chapter by some of my theological mentors. Pondering and wandering around Hebrews 11 led me to Philippians 12:2 that tells me to “work out my salvation with fear and trembling…” Combine all that with the power of grace and….well, it’s beyond living unconsciously. It’s living consciously.

The Power of Grace

When I’m asked why I read so much, I quote Tim Keller, “I read so much because I’m so desperate.”

Henry David Thoreau, reflecting on how many people live unfulfilled lives, feeling trapped by societal expectations or material pursuits, rather than pursuing a life of purpose or personal satisfaction, said

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."

Living a life of quiet desperation is living life unconsciously.

To that end….explore what it means to live life consciously and make your desperation be known.

Danny

Helping entrepreneurs connect their faith and work.

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#9: EQ Skills - Why should we focus on developing our emotional intelligence?

Improving emotional intelligence (EQ) is essential for personal well-being, success in relationships, and effective leadership. Simply put, EQ skills help us better navigate life’s emotional challenges and build stronger connections with others. Key EQ skills include emotional awareness……healthy beliefs about emotions…. recognizing emotions as data……………healthy emotion regulation………. adopting healthy strategies for expressing emotions. Developing these abilities allows individuals to better understand themselves, manage their reactions, and foster more meaningful relationships, ultimately leading, God willing, to greater personal and professional success.

Here’s what I mean by improving our EQ skills…..

Skill #1-improving our emotional awareness enables us to identify and understand our emotions as they occur, preventing us from being overwhelmed by them.

Skill #2-developing a healthy belief about emotions helps us view emotions as informative, rather than something to suppress. Understanding that emotions shape our experiences allows us to approach life more consciously.

Skill #3-by recognizing emotions as data we can make better decisions by understanding what our emotions are telling us about our needs and values.

Skill #4-Healthy emotion regulation ensures we manage difficult emotions constructively, benefiting both ourselves and our relationships.

Skill #5-adopting healthy strategies for expressing emotions ensures we communicate in ways that foster understanding and connection.

Developing these skills not only improves resilience but also enhances overall effectiveness.

And what can we connect in scripture about improving our skills associated with Emotional intelligence?

The Bible offers timeless wisdom about managing our emotions and with just a bit of research, I find scripture that aligns with these principles, providing guidance on how to be aware of, regulate, and express our emotions in healthy ways. By reflecting on scripture, we can grow in emotional intelligence and build stronger, more meaningful relationships with not just others, but ourselves.

The right verses offer valuable lessons for connecting our faith to our actions and beliefs and while grounding our emotional intelligence in biblical principles.

Proverbs 4:23 reminds us to "guard your heart," emphasizing the importance of emotional awareness. While our emotions influence our actions, understanding our emotions helps guide us wisely. James 1:19 teaches us to pause and reflect on our feelings, encouraging us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry,” a key practice in emotional intelligence.

Proverbs 16:32 values patience and self-control, illustrating the need for regulating emotions, while Ephesians 4:29 encourages expressing emotions in ways that uplift others.

EQ or EI?

Emotional Intelligence (EI) and Emotional Quotient (EQ), while closely related, have distinct meanings. EI refers to the capacity to recognize, understand, and manage one’s emotions as well as those of others. EQ is a metric used to assess a person's level of emotional intelligence.

EQ involves a range of skills, such as emotional awareness, empathy, self-regulation, and interpersonal communication. In essence, it’s about how effectively an individual can navigate social complexities, manage behavior, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.

“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.” Dr. James Dean

Similarly to how an IQ score measures intellectual ability, EQ scores quantify one's proficiency in the various competencies of emotional intelligence. These scores help to evaluate how well a person can identify, control, and utilize emotions in various situations.

In essence, EI represents the actual abilities and practices of managing emotions, while EQ provides a way to measure and compare these abilities. Developing emotional intelligence can lead to a higher EQ, enhancing personal and professional relationships, communication skills, and decision-making processes. Understanding the difference between EI and EQ is essential in personal development and coaching, as it helps in both self-assessment and growth in emotional capabilities.

To that end….

Danny

Lord Chancellor Sir Francis Bacon famously said that while some books are to be tasted and others to be swallowed, there are a few that must be chewed and digested.

- Worth Celebrating: A Biography of Richard J. Foster’s “Celebration of Discipline”