Esthetic Principles

There are seasons in a woman's life when she becomes so focused on caring for others that she slowly disappears from her own story.

She knows everyone's favorite meal.

She remembers everyone's birthday.

She knows who needs encouragement, who needs help, and who needs a phone call.

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But somewhere along the way she forgets what brings her joy.

If that sounds familiar, I want you to spend some time with yourself this week.

Not your responsibilities.

Not your obligations.

Yourself.

Remember what makes you laugh. Remember what makes you curious. Remember what makes you feel alive.

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Lately I've found myself missing the preparations for Spring Spa House.

Not the facials.

Not the foot soaks.

Not even the linens.

I miss the ritual of getting ready for women to arrive.

I miss standing in my kitchen deciding what nourishing meal I would prepare. I miss setting out teacups and wondering which blend would meet someone exactly where she was. I miss fluffing pillows, folding towels, lighting candles, and creating a space that quietly said, "You can put your armor down here."

Every Saturday felt a little like preparing for company and a little like preparing for a sacred ceremony.

Women would arrive carrying all sorts of things.

Deadlines.

Caregiving responsibilities.

Career pressures.

Heartbreak.

Uncertainty.

Exhaustion.

And for a few hours, they could simply be.

No performance.

No proving.

No producing.

Just breathing.

I think that's what I miss most.

Creating a space where a woman didn't have to earn her rest.

As I've been reflecting on those Saturdays, I've realized that writing gives me a similar feeling.

When I sit down to write, I am still creating a space.

Instead of preparing a room, I'm preparing a page.

Instead of welcoming women through a front door, I'm welcoming them into a conversation.

Instead of offering tea, I am offering a thought, a memory, a question, or a story.

The intention is the same.

To remind women that they are worthy of care.

To remind women that slowing down is not laziness.

To remind women that their inner lives deserve attention too.

I've been sharing more of those reflections on my Substack lately, and in many ways it feels like an extension of Spring Spa House.

A different room.

The same invitation.

Come in.

Have a seat.

Stay awhile.

You don't have to rush through this space either.

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Black women are often taught how to persevere.

Very few of us are taught how to retreat.

How to leave the emails unanswered.

How to ignore the laundry.

How to postpone the obligations.

How to spend a day doing nothing more important than enjoying our own lives.

This isn't an adventure trip.

This is a retreat in the truest sense of the word.

A deliberate withdrawal from stress.

A temporary resignation from responsibility.

A brief and beautiful disappearance from the demands of everyday life.

And perhaps that's exactly what you've been needing.

Relax. Relate. Release.

Bio will take you there.