Necole Kane

When healthy love is triggering, you know you have some healing to do 👀

While binging watching love is blind this week and seeing how everything played out between some of the couples, it really reminded me of how self-sabotage shows up in dating relationships: Healthy love can be triggering to those who have not healed, and may cause you to choose someone less safe or a bit more chaotic because that's your comfort zone. I've been there.

Also pattern changes happen in relationships no matter how healthy that relationship is but it can be very triggering to someone with an anxious attachment style. I had to learn to not put on my running shoes at the first sign of change if I wanted to be in a partnership for the long run. It required me to dig deep and ask, "Why is consistency giving me anxiety? Why is him showing up for me every day got me pulling and running?? It had more to do with me and my attachment style (which was a blend of anxious and avoidant) than it did the men I was dating. I'm transitioning into more of a secure attachment style but it has taken some time and also seeking out partners who've made me feel safe and secure as well as had open communication.

I've unpacked so much through my dating experiences over the last few years and through experiencing love that left me better versus bitter or broken.

I am healing, I am worthy and I am so in love with the woman I am becoming 💕

Anyway, I had a good time talking to Laterras R. Whitfield from the Dear Future Wifey Podcast back in March. If you haven't already, Check it out on YouTube 😀

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