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New Relationship Advice For Building A Strong Foundation

So you’ve found someone who’s just perfect for you and want to make sure you don’t mess it up. Just the fact that you’re looking for tips at this early stage is a good sign. For a new relationship, advice on building a solid foundation can have a major impact on your future as a couple.

Be yourself

This is probably the oldest advice in the book, but there’s a reason for that. Think about it this way: do you really want waste months or years of time and energy pretending to be someone you’re not? Even if your partner thinks the world of you, in reality, they don’t even know who you are. So go ahead and show your true colors right from the outset.

Take it slow

One of the fastest ways to kill a budding relationship is to jump into bed too soon or live like you’re attached at the hip. Go slow with physical affection, starting with simple hand holding and building up from there. No matter how crazy you are about each other, try not to spend every waking minute together. Now and then go out with some other friends or just by yourself. It helps you preserve your own sense of identity and keeps you from wearing each other out.

Stay friends

Ultimately, friendship is the foundation of any happy, long-term relationship. Romance and passion are great, but friendship is what keeps you
together. Unfortunately, when we get used to a person, there’s a tendency to take the other person for granted or give yourself permission to nit pick their behavior. Don’t fall into that trap. Even when you disagree, you’re your partner the same respect you’d show any other close friend. Remember, in a new relationship, advice on staying friends can help keep the passion alive, too.

Learn to handle conflict

While it may not be very comfortable, conflict is not only inevitable, it’s also an opportunity for growth. When you handle differences and disagreements in a healthy way, you actually gain from the experience. After all, it may just be that your partner really does have a better way of doing something.

The trick is not to let irritations build up. If something your partner does seriously bothers, bring it up kindness and gentleness. If may be easier to solve than you expect. In any case, trying to ignore a problem while letting resentment brew is a recipe for disaster. That’s why, for a new relationship, sound advice on resolving conflicts can be a huge help.

Learn what makes relationships work

If you’re hoping to find your true love some day, you’ve probably already read a few of those interviews with couples who’ve been married 50 years or more. Read more of those and while you’re at it, read anything you can find on the secrets of successful long-term relationships. Sure, no two relationships are the same, but the ones that last do have certain things in common. Knowing what those are gives your relationship a better chance of staying the course.

Creating lasting love last isn’t always easy, but starting off the right way helps you build the strong foundation a long-term commitment depends on. When you’ve just entered a new relationship, advice on what to do next can really help you set off on the right foot.

How To Overcome Communication Problems In Relationships

Communication problems in relationships are so common that no matter how great you and your sweetie get along, you’re bound to run into some miscommunication somewhere along the line. The good news is, with the right approach, these problems usually aren’t too hard to solve.

Bridge the gender divide!

Men and women approach relationships in distinctly different ways. Without and open mind, it’s all too easy to write the opposite gender off as “illogical” or even start thinking of their differences as childish or petty. The fact is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love matters can help you avoid a lot of problems in relationships.

Listen thoughtfully!

Don’t forget that you’re one half of the communication problem. When you’ve been together for a while, you might start to think you know what your partner is going to say. Unless you have ESP, though, you’ll get a lot farther by actually hearing your partner out. When sweetie tells you something, restate what they said to make sure you understood correctly and let them know you heard.

Release the need for blame!

When one of you has a problem, the relationship has a problem and it’s in both your best interests to work it out peacefully.

Instead of going around in circles trying to decide whose fault it is, focus on how you’re going to solve it. Likewise, try to avoid blaming your partner for your overall mood. Specific issues like “When you flirt with other people, I feel rejected.” are fine, but sweeping statements like “You make me miserable.” or “You stress me out.” are taking it too far.

Stick to the facts!

When trying to talk over problems in relationships, don’t bring up any thing you can’t prove. Instead, stay with what can’t be argued like your own feelings and what your partner already agrees they do. For example, saying “You disrespected me in front of my friends.” can be argued because standards of respect differ. On the other hand, saying “I was embarrassed when you told Dave you don’t think I should ask for a raise.” is not only unarguable, but also gets your point across more clearly.

Be frank, but kind!

You’re not doing anyone any favors by taking a “put up and shut up” attitude to problems in relationships. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they can eventually reach the point where they’ll never heal at all. Instead, speak your mind when you have a problem, but do so with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Remember, your partner probably isn’t trying to hurt or annoy you and may be pretty upset to hear you’re unhappy.

Be a friend, not a coach!

Chances are, your partner isn’t with you because they’re hoping you can correct all their bad habits and personality flaws. You’re not their parent, teacher, coach, or boss. You’re their friend and lover.

You may think you’re giving constructive criticism, but your partner might think your love or respect for them has diminished because of this one little flaw they have. Instead of criticizing, encourage improvement by giving your partner some positive feedback when they do something you really like.

There, that doesn’t sound too hard, does it? These techniques may be simple, but the really do work to solve communication problems in relationships. Give them a try.