The Randy Dellosa Company

The Face of Tomorrow

Take things slowly. In a fast-paced society, we might feel the need to immediately do something with our God-given lives. Compounded with nags and comparisons from other people, we become distraught and disheartened. First things first: What do we need to accomplish for the day? If we have nothing planned, then maybe we can start cleaning our workspace. We can take out the trash, do the dishes and laundry, organize and sort our papers and other belongings, and then take a quick shower. We can relax a bit. Then, we can begin working. If we are still in school, then we should work on our assignments and projects. If we are working, then we should review our responsibilities and obligations. We can practice, rehearse, and improve. If we feel we are not up to the task, we can think about asking for help. Who can help us? Creating a list of reliable people helps. It might surprise us that other people are more than willing to help us if we have started helping ourselves.

There is no shame in not being as productive or intelligent or talented as other people. Let them get ahead and do not worry about them. Instead, focus on improving yourself. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to learn how to cook? What about picking up a skill or two like playing the guitar or singing or drawing comics or writing stories. We might find ourselves naturally moving forward, feeling a sense of belongingness—in our own selves.

Photo by SHTTEFAN

Reverse Life

There are times when we feel that our lives have turned upside down. It may be that we discovered something horrible about ourselves or about someone close to us. We might repeatedly think to ourselves, “This can’t be happening,” “No way this is real,” or “Please no.” Time moves forward, however, and the aftermath of our discovery can either make or break us. Usually, we retreat from the world and become reticent, speaking infrequently and avoiding socializing. On the other hand, we might practice self-harm such as partying and drinking excessively, arguing aggressively, and picking fights uncontrollably.

There are ways out of this. Make no mistake! While most of us undergoing some form of trauma are already incredibly self-aware, there is still the matter of having a real and true expert manage our self-awareness, thoughts, reflections, and daily habits. Having real and true experts is the crucial part. There is a good chance we are put under inadequate care, thereby exacerbating our problems instead of solving them. Another issue that we might encounter is, “How can we tell if our professionals are competent?”

Unfortunately, as with doctors, second and even third opinions matter. Unlike with doctors, however, mental health problems might be harder to treat, because our illnesses might not be attributable to any single source. At the end of the day, we owe it to ourselves to find the best care possible.

Photo by Breno Bitencourt

Setting Out

A lot of people struggle with becoming adults. What does it mean? What should we be doing? What are our responsibilities? How should we live? There are many answers to these questions that fall under the umbrella perspective that adults should be providers, and adults can only provide when they have assumed a good level of responsibility. In the Filipino setting, and in some other Eastern settings, independence is less about setting out on our own and more about making good decisions, usually business decisions. Good business decisions are ones that lead to great prosperity for the family. An example of this is doing well in school, graduating, and then working at a reputable company.

Another way to approach adulthood is learning the necessary life skills for surviving on one’s own. This means learning how to cook, how to budget our time and money, how to make friends, and how to find work.

Still another way is becoming mature. This means acknowledging not only our differences but also good and bad. Although some say there is no good or bad, that good or bad is childish, make no mistake—“evil” exists not in the conventional villain and hero sense, but in the sense that there are manipulative people who will take advantage of your kindness. In this sense, we have to learn to open our minds beyond popular acceptance and onto wisdom.

Photo by Daiga Ellaby