Transform with Verve

I love food!! People say they eat to live though for me it’s the other way around, I live to eat. My whole day revolves around what I am going to eat and when. I have a range of food that is my go-to when I am feeling low, or high, or need a boost of energy. I cook daily and my cooking is mostly centered around the theme of the day.

Have you noticed a spike and drop in your energy when you consume foods that may be high in sugar? Or feeling drained after eating a certain food?

Or have there been days when eating a certain food has made you feel happy? Filled that void? Gave you company?

certainly alters our moods. After all, we are all (agree or disagree) emotional beings to some extent.

Food is also one of the key factors that influence our . As the saying goes, listen to your gut (which is our second brain).
When depressed we tend to reach for comfort foods hoping to feel better though little do we realize that it makes it worse. Leading to more stress.

Why so? Well! As it influences the biochemistry in our body. Also, food is linked to the hippocampus, a key area of our brain involved in learning, memory, and mental health.

So, does one go on diet? Perhaps not, only if the cookie-cutter approach worked. Our bodies are the best laboratories only if we learned to tune into them.

So how can we manage our physical and mental health?

👉By eating at regular times and not skipping meals.

👉By eating a well-balanced diet.

👉Eat with our five senses. Eating a nourishing meal while watching
TV, reading email, or in a meeting won’t cut it.

👉Observe how your body responds after each meal.

👉Have deep for the food and all the hands that go behind in putting it on your plate.

👉Develop a healthy relationship with food.

👉Stop measuring your in numbers.

👉For issues related to body image speak to a therapist, counselor, .

When born, as babies we are the most confident and we are also the most vulnerable especially when we want our needs to be met. We are most loved and cared for just as we are with no conditions attached as there is nothing more important or valuable than our well-being (not always though).

Then we are introduced to our families, our grandparents, siblings, relatives, and so on. Who provides us with the first glimpses of ourselves and the culture…

👶It’s a boy! How wonderful…We will give him the best in the world.

👶Oh! It’s a girl, she needs to be protected.

👶Oops!! this was unplanned…

This is the beginning of our learning to interact and understand (which we do our entire lives) ourselves and others around us.
Then comes the growing process and us learning more about ourselves through familial, societal, and cultural lenses such as;

☝️ Favouring one child over the other based on their gender or order of birth, where, one child gets showered with all the attention and toys and the other one has to work exceptionally hard to prove themselves even to get the slightest of attention.

☝️Classifying beautiful based on their skin color.

☝️Making fun of them because of their size and calling them lazy, dumb, fat, and so on.

☝️Shower them with attention and call them good or bad based on their performance at school, sports, music, etc.

☝️Or on the flip side teach them to play mediocre so as not to get any unwanted attention.

☝️Or promoting sibling rivalry to be able to control them.

☝️Enforcing idiotic rules on who has a voice or not.

These are a few surface-level narratives (not stereotypical) that play out in different cultures. Though they aid in shaping our identities, personalities, , and how we experience the world.
So why am I talking about it? Or what happens if things don’t unfold as one has learned them?

Simple! blame your parents, family, dog, parrot, or culture.

Big No!!!

As we grow in these cultures, we get systemically desensitized and out of tune with ourselves. So, if things don’t work the way we know them, our insecurities, desire to control, or other unwanted thoughts and feelings crop up from the place of wanting to , , or to . Since we do not understand them, we feel exceptionally uncomfortable and out of sync.

So, what do we do?

👉Expand your .

👉As I always say, get to know yourself. Your , skills, , etc.

👉Be , of what has worked for you and what does not serve you anymore.

👉Be open and flexible to learn and grow. There is no universal truth.

👉Have deep respect and gratitude for differences otherwise we would all be boxes on a manufacturing line.

👉Seek professional help from a therapist, or counselor for any abuse, or trauma that is stopping you.

👉Seek professional help from a life coach for beliefs that are blocking you.

Being an introvert, I find it exceptionally tasking to get out of my comfort zone to put myself out there and establish a . To get to know a person and to feel about the relationship. After all, it is so much more manageable reading a book or sitting behind a computer screen to do things 😊

We are surrounded by all the time, at our home, workplace, shopping malls, and supermarkets. Yet! There are times when it is too hard to connect with people. We want to forge strong, meaningful connections yet find the absence of the same in our lives and crave for it.

Why? Maybe because things have become too transitional and transactional and the intent to connect is not there.

Human is said to be social animal and forging connections is good for our mental health and our overall wellbeing.

When we are born, our relationship with our prime caregiver is crucial for our well-being as an adult.
founded by John Bowlby, in our formative years helps us mentalize our state and that of others in navigating our lives.

Have you ever wondered that you have gone through the day’s activities and met a raft of people and yet have been absent from the conversations or failed to form that connection?

Did you ever explore why?
☝️You are not good at small talk.
☝️You are emotionally absent (experiencing personal issues).
☝️You fear rejection.
☝️You are in a new environment.
☝️You focus too much on your flaws or weaknesses.
☝️You focus too much on the other person’s flaws (do not judge or have expectations).
☝️Trauma from past relationships leads to trust issues.
☝️Waiting for the other person to take the first step.
☝️Extensive use of social media (so much easier behind the screen).
☝️Psychological reasons such as depression, anxiety, social anxiety, or personality disorders.
☝️Too busy.

How do we know that we have made a human connection?
👉 When we are listened to and understood and vice versa.
👉Showing empathy.
👉Helping someone out of unconditional goodwill.
👉 Offering and receiving sincere gratitude.

So, how can we shift and achieve the goal of connecting?
👉Be yourself.
👉Be open and vulnerable.
👉 Ask “interested” questions.
👉 Meet new people.
👉 Listen actively.
👉 Speak to a or a to overcome your blocks.