Dynamic Relationship & Marriage

A Letter to Every Struggling Man

By Dr. Oliver Kandela Bulaya

Dear Brother,

In our world today, we witness an alarming rise in the number of seemingly strong men who succumb to despair. It leaves us questioning: what is truly happening beneath the surface?

In this generation, many have become so self-centered that they neglect to give attention to their spouses, relatives, or colleagues. When you seek to share your burdens, you often find others adding to them, making it feel easier to carry your pain in silence. This leads many to believe that sharing their struggles only multiplies their problems.

Consider the man who goes to bed yet spends sleepless nights, consumed by thoughts of the uncertainty that tomorrow may bring. He may wear a smile and bring laughter to his family, but within him, a storm brews—a deep concern for the future of his loved ones. What will happen to them if he is no longer around? Despite his best efforts, his current circumstances may weigh heavily on his heart.

It wounds him deeply when he cannot provide for his family, when he cannot put food on the table or send his children to good schools. He may eat the meals prepared at home, but it hurts him to know they are not from his own labor. The internal struggle to fulfill his role as a provider gnaws at him, leaving him feeling inadequate and defeated.

These are the reasons many visionary men falter. It’s crucial to understand that not every man is indifferent or lazy. Not every man lacks vision or revels in idleness. Many are trying their best; they just find it difficult to see a breakthrough in sight. Offer them your spiritual and moral support. Avoid the painful sting of reminding them that they are not “man enough.”

In the face of adversity, we often put on a brave front for our wives and children, masking our inner turmoil. It can feel as if nothing we do makes sense, and that can be a heavy burden to bear.

Let us take a moment to honor the women who uplift their men in these challenging times. May God bless those who do not abandon their partners in struggle, who stand by them when the going gets tough.

To you, my brother, may God bring clarity in your confusion. Remember, we all face days when hope seems distant. But days are not always the same; the tides can turn. Stand firm for just one more moment. If no one else can support you, find strength within yourself until you fulfill the purpose for which you were created.

Self-harm is never the answer. Instead, seek solace in God and surround yourself with true men and women of faith who can uplift you. With man, many things may seem impossible, but with God, all things are possible.

Stay strong.

With hope and encouragement,

Soe

Our voice shall be heard.
We live today to impact tomorrow.
The forgotten shall be remembered.

May the good Lord bless all the marriages!