Monday Mania Show

THIS OPPORTUNITY IS FOR EDUCATORS!!

Are you a Teacher, School Owner, School Administrator or even Parents with school-age kids?

Then this Diction/Elocution training is for you.

Learn:

- ACCENT MODIFICATION
- DICTION and ELOCUTION
- STANDARD BRITISH ENGLISH
- EXECUTIVE SPEECH COACHING
- PUBLIC SPEAKING & SOCIAL SKILLS

You can learn all these from the BEST TRAINERS this holiday with over 21 years of experience.

Here's why you should enrol:

- Get Certified to teach professionally in Canada, US, China, Australia and anywhere in the world

- Build a CAREER in and SPECIALIZE in diction/elocution and phonics teaching

- Make EXTRA INCOME from elocution and phonics regardless of your profession

- Network for diction/elocution teaching opportunities

- Broaden and improve your PHONETIC skills as an English language teacher/diction tutor

- Cure the embarrassment of your accent and lazy pronunciations

- Speaking drills and skills for eloquence, confidence, clarity and fluency

REGISTER NOW!! Call/Whatsapp: 07039021343 or

FILL THIS FORM so we can call you back: http://bit.ly/elocutiontraining

JOKE!!!
SORRY SORRY SORRY.
---> Sorry is when you use candle fire dey find where petrol dey smell {eya....I pity u.. }
---> Sorry is when you pay 280k for BB porch on getting home you find out it has 2 sim card slots {tears go finish 4 ur eyes..... }
---> Sorry is when you write your BB pin instead of your matric no in your final exam {na wetin you dey think b4.... }
---> Sorry is when unknown 4 u, u slap a army general in front of a barrack {big sorry!..... }
---> Sorry say Patience Ebele is your English teacher b4 WAEC {u go write tire..... }
---> Sorry is when your landlord likes ur '' I don hammer '' status on Facebook {ur house rent don increase automatically be dat.... }
---> Sorry is when you get 378 in Jamb and fail Post-UME
---> Sorry is when you throw away 450 naira change instead of gala wrapper {no lie...e go pain u small.... }
YOU FIT ADD YOUR OWN O!!!

JOKE! JOKE!! JOKE!!!
PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH.

WITHDRAWAL FROM ATM

If you are in a sophisticated area like Banana Island, here is how the ATM would communicate;

ATM: Welcome Mr. Samuel.
-Please enter your secret pin.
-How much will you like to withdrawl?......
-Thank you for banking with us, Mr. Samuel...but if you are in places like Mushin, here is how it will respond:

After a guy inserts his card, inputs his secret pin,

ATM: Haaaaaaaaaaa omo iya,
-sho wa kpa?
-sho ri e wa nbe?

Guy: Mo wa kpa baje baje.

ATM: Elo ni k'omo aye por jade?
(guy inputs 10,000)

ATM: (dispenses cash).
Omo iya, ma jeun lor ntie.
IN A PLACE LIKE IBADAN...

An Ibadan woman inserts her card, input her secret code..

ATM: (In Ibadan tone)
-Ekabo Iya,
-se wa kpa?
-So nsuor?
-Elo le fe gba?
(Woman enters N2,000)

ATM: Iya, ko ma s'owo lapo yin ke!
(woman enters N2,000 again)

ATM: Se ko nse afise?
Mo sor kpe ko s'owo lapo yin.

(For the third time, woman enters N2,000 again, thinking it was an error on the ATM's part)

ATM: (Pauses for a while)
Iya, Se ko re o?
-Oma sooror kutukutu ke.
-Alawin looror ojo aje.
-Abaye se o ni?
-To ba kpe ko to fa kadi e yo, mo ma gbe je ni.
-Alawin osi.
IN A PLACE LIKE IJEBU...

A woman inserts her card and pin...

ATM: Omo alare,
-elo ro nfe gba?
(Woman enters N2,391.50K)

ATM: Pause for about one minute, trying to understand the digits.
After about a minute, ATM replies,

ATM: Iya? mo nbor.
E je nsare lor wa shenji wa.
*****************************

If you like this joke, pls invite your friends to join you on this page.
Thanks.

A HEARTY GREETINGS TO THE BRAIN BEHIND

MONDAY MANIA SHOW

MANDY de MANIAC

on the occassion of his birthday.

We pray God to grant you a fulfilled life,amen.

Where's the DJ setting up?