Eregbaro

‘I cant be a person because of racism. That cannot be why I am black. I cant be a person because of where I live. I have to be a person because of who I am. So who the hell are you?’ - HKB FiNN

Time Stamp
=========
- Origin story (05:38)
- First experience of being black: around ten minute mark (black as a barrier to progress in the west) (11:58)
- using the powers of mimickery you to win friends as a shield (20:20)
- subcultures in England (21:28)
- A nomad’s guide to emotional investments into friendship (24:58)
- Self editing to be present for others (37:45)
- the city you live in, the energy it demands of you and the relationships you have with people as a result (41:09) Lagos & London
- Opportunity comes but once? (42:32) this is a true story and i don’t mean to embarrass my family
- And what does it mean to be black and undefined? (45:27)
- Taking the scenic route brings its own opportunity for reclamation (48:11)
- Forgiving your aggressors is its own type of healing (55:33)
- You are more than the things that happened to you (58:07)
- Negotiating with the erasure of self due to trauma (1:00:32)
- Damage versus damage - are you addicted to pain? (01:03:38)
- People don’t kill love, shotguns kill love (01:06:38)
- Sooooo...do you want liver with that? (01:10:47)
- On money generational (financial) intelligence (01:36:00)
- Effort + time + quality = success? (01:45:27)
- Embarrassing moment in four words (01:52:14)
- The Unsullied Book Club (01:53:45) HKB FiNN recommends two must reads this week:

1. ‘The Alchemist’ by Paolo Cohelo.
2. ’The Art of War’ by Sun Tzu.

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‘You can’t control how people will react to things but you can control how you play the game, how hard you work to get there, your attitude. Whatever comes next, you have to let it go and keep it moving...’ - Rethabile Ramaphakela

Timestamp
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* Retini’s origin story: (00:06:41)
* Don’t let them steal your crown (00:10:00)
* Tattoos as a transcription of life (00:15:54)
* Learning to enjoy the fruits of your labour (00:23:34)
* Swinging: from the confident child to learned imposter syndrome and normalising (00:31:23)
* Squash your personal doubts with the magic of the things you love (00:37:02)
* And then, Covid said: Let There Be Time (00:43:18)
* Sometimes you have to pull your own ear and question the root cause of your anxiety (00:51:46)
* Avoiding the path to Bag Lady (00:54:43)
* Consciously uncouple from bad financial habits (00:58:03)
* Make better financial decisions (01:04:56)
* Teaching the next generation about the dangers of peacocking (01:09:32)
* Retini, the unwritten book (01:16:36)
* And who wouldn’t want a Dragon Fruit (01:17:30)
* Parting words of embarrassment (01:18:53)
* For your bookshelf (01:19:34)

The Unsullied Book Club
==================
Retini recommends:

* Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

* Make Time: How to Focus on what Matters Every Day by Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky.
This episode of    was edited by  of . If you like what you hear, tell  about it.
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