Colin Mack Nair

Who took who for a spin

Anyone catch the video game reference at the end?

I’ve been digitizing all my middle school and high school videos recently from my first camera I got in 2005.

I miss how creative I was back then.
And reckless, because…we totally had permits for those driving shots. Or, even knew what that was.

Obviously being older, you have to get more realistic about what’s possible to make better art.

But I wish I’d drop a bit of that and just make something for the sake of making it.

Don’t worry…I’m alright
But if you’re not alright…it’s alright
I wasn’t doing alright and felt like making a piece about how sometimes…we’re all not exactly alright.
Doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you, alright?
Alright, now get back out there

For my fellow workaholics out there.

Your worth is more than your output.

It’s okay if what you set out to do doesn’t work.

Because you have more to offer the world than what you make.

There’s value in just simply living your life, whatever that means to you.

Come see Dracula’s Castle, where they made your cheating ex, that backstabbing friend, your abusive boss, and bootlicker ICE.

People are going to lie, cheat, steal. The key is to not stoop to their level in response.

At the end of the day, they will get what they want…but they have to sleep in the bed they’ve made. And I’ve seen it first hand, they don’t get much rest ✌🏻

While the rest of the world sleeps, they’re wide fu***ng awake, thinking about all the damage they’ve done…just like a vampire.

Conversations with myself are usually done over cellular 📶

These are the questions, the doubts, I have all the time. Pursuing something risky is a daily battle of fighting that inner critic.

For some of us it’s better to have tried and lived. Than to have played it safe and regret.

I had this career in my head for years
I had these videos in my head for years
I had this life envisioned forever

But I was fu***ng scared
Because it’s not conventional
There’s not a solid 5 year plan
There’s absolutely no guarantee of success

Now that I’m in it though, I don’t understand how I did anything else
It’s made me realize for years I was operating from a place of fear

But so was my immediate circle
Because most people do
So it was easy to validate the fear

But when you start going for it
When you start putting yourself first
You bring around the people and energy you need to keep going

And then it just seems insane to play it safe

Changing careers in the height of the pandemic had me on the receiving end of a whole lot of 🤨

“Who wants to see a tech bro’s art?”
“You really think now is a good time to pivot into a creative career?”

Don’t let other people’s fear control your outlook on life. Nothing beats determination and honest hard work.

It’s your life, rip it

What’s your dream job?
Now imagine yourself in it. First few days, weeks, the excitement will kick in.
You made it! You passed the interviews, impressed who you needed to impress. Got the salary, the benefits, everything.

Then one day you realize you still have a boss. The job has things you don’t like about it. You don’t have as much control as you’d like. There’s a coworker who doesn’t see your vision and you even start to get a little bored.

So you wonder, do I need a promotion? Do I climb higher?

Some people can be happy in these roles. But for those of us who strive for the bigger picture…it’s not enough. Trust that instinct. What would you start on your own if there wasn’t a place to “apply” to?

There’s a world where I didn’t need to implode my life to get into film.
Where I could have slowly made my own projects while making money as a software engineer.
Where I didn’t need to end a relationship, ostracize from friends, family.

But I realized how much of a lie I was living for so long and it shook me down to my core.
I had become someone I didn’t recognize and it was honestly embarrassing.
Through my own decisions I had betrayed my instinct to pursue this when I was younger and that feeling persisted into my late 20s.

So it felt like I needed a clean slate.
A complete overhaul.
A reset.

I didn’t go out for months
I spent hours on YouTube learning, self teaching.
My mind was full of questions and so I asked them, to everyone I met on every film set. I wasn’t shy. And people liked that.

Best of all, I liked that. For once it felt like I was somewhere doing something that I actually cared about. Finally.

Don’t be lazy
Don’t be entitled
I think there’s a lesson in working hard at a company for a period of time
To understand how our economy works

What I started to notice though is the only difference between us and the billionaire CEOs is they believed they could start something of their own

But you don’t need a billion dollars to be happy, or to treat those you work with respectfully

I don’t have the answers in front of me to make this happen tomorrow

But I have my history, I have my low moments feeling like nothing more than a number in a system

All so I could afford a “good” life

But what use is a good life if I’m empty inside

I want to cultivate an environment where people get excited to work together everyday

Not just show up because of a paycheck